"You heard me, Evelyn."
"Da, Jasper can stay and keep Mr. O'Rourke company. I want to?—"
"Evelyn." Da's eyes narrow on me, cutting my words short. It's the same expression he has when I've done something wrong and he has to chastise me.
I nod, pressing my lips into a thin line, and watch him walk out, saying something to Jasper down the hall before the front door shuts behind them. Lochlan stands on the other side of the table staring at me, and I look down and away as I round the end of the table.
"Come on, I'll show you the liquor cabinet," I say in a low tone. If Da knew what was going through my mind, he'd never have left me alone with this man. I'd be put on a leash or locked in my room to preserve my innocence. I'm not that innocent, but that's what my father would think.
Lochlan follows me up the hallway. I'm still on edge, feeling very self-conscious. Everything about this charming, good-looking man makes my knees weak. I find it hard to form coherent thoughts that don't revolve around very dirty things, and my body ends up all worked up. It's hard to concentrate at work, but here at home, it's impossible to do anything.
"Why do you hate me?" he asks, and I stop a few strides from the liquor cabinet. Confused, I turn around and see him standing by the salmon-colored armchair. His hand rests on the back, chest puffed out so his buttons bulge, shirt stretching wide. I feel flustered. I blink at him a few times and shake my head.
"Why do you think I hate you?" My palms are sweaty and my tongue clings to the roof of my mouth. The thermostat must be stuck wide open in this room. I'm sweating.
"That or you're terrified of me. Is it because of my last name?" He inches forward, hand falling from the chair as he walks. Suddenly, he feels larger than normal, like he grew a few inches and his shoulders became broader.
"Mr. O'Rourke, I'm not afraid of you at all." I take a step back because I'm afraid of myself—of what his speaking to me is doing to my body. The attraction I feel is ridiculous. I felt it in his office the day I showed him the shipping schedules too. I leaned over his shoulder and my chest brushed on it. He smelled so good. I bet he smells good now.
"Then why do you try to run out of the room every time I enter? Why are your hands shaking?"
Da will kill me. It's all I can think about—how angry my parents would be if they knew how badly this man makes my pussy ache. He's so sexy, and I'm sure half of it is the fact that he's a bad boy. He's a criminal and probably has done very bad things. They want me to marry Elvin Murphy, though, have a better life. Technically, I'm betrothed, and I shouldn't even be thinking these ungodly things, by my God, do I want Lochlan to touch me.
"I don’t run away." Taking another step backward, I feel the firm wood of the liquor cabinet at my hip. I can't back away more. "Why do you think I'm running away?" I lick my lips and blink hard. My core is drenched. I can feel the moisture in my panties soaking my thighs, and it pulses, begging to be sated.
"You're doing it now. Your father told you to keep me company, help me settle in, and you're ready to run off again. I'm not a scary person, Evelyn."
"Evie," I correct him and I sigh. "I know you're not scary. You come across as some badass, but you're really a sweet man." The way he helped calm me after that lunatic in the parking lot says a lot about his true nature. He doesn't let people see that side of him, but I do. And after he dragged me away from that man on the dance floor—someone I realize now I should never have even looked at—I know Lochlan is loyal too.
"Sweet?" Lochlan chuckles, and I let my shoulders relax a bit. "That's not something I've been accused of before."
My mind goes back to that day, when I was shaking like a leaf, when Lochlan asked me to come into Da's office to show him shipping schedules. I walked in a mess, and just being in his presence calmed me. Part of me wonders how he'd react to find out this Darren guy is blackmailing me. If Lochlan would think I'm weak or fragile. If he'd ask Da to remove me from the offices.
Mum would force me to marry Elvin immediately, which I don't want. I'm okay with marrying the guy. I made peace with that a long time ago, but I want to experience life first. But I know if it got out that Darren is blackmailing me, Da really would lock me up at home. I'd be dragged down the aisle, away from men like Lochlan O'Rourke—who gives my heart this racy feeling—and that would be that.
"Yes, sweet. You think being a total asshole is going to keep people away from you, from getting close, but I see the kindness in your eyes." The heels of my hands plant on the edge of the cabinet behind me. He's close, but not close enough to touch me, and I'm starting to calm down and let the feeling of arousal settle in.
Lochlan is smart and coy. There's no way he can look at me for this long and not see the obvious attraction I have. My cheeks are blazing, so they've got to be bright red, and if I feel the moisture in my panties like this, it means my pupils are probably dilated and my lips flushed with blood. His eyes keep dropping to them, then rising to meet my gaze again.
"Men like me… we can be scary beasts." He takes another step forward, hands clasped together in front of himself. It makes his shoulders broaden further and it makes my core tighten.
"Yeah? Are you telling me you prey on my fear? You want me to cower? Because I'm not afraid of you…" I neglect to finish the sentence, but I want to tell him what I really feel.
"I'm just saying, if there's another reason you get so uncomfortable around me that you feel the need to rush out of the room to avoid being alone with me, I'm going to find out." Another step closer, and his scent wafts toward me.
"If you are so sure I'm cowering and running away, then why care? Isn't that what men like you do? You make your prey cower? Isn't that what you like?" I'm toying with him now, watching every inflection of the muscles on his face. He smirks, eyes narrowing. He's eating this up, and the air between us feels thick with chemistry.
"Men like me?" he asks, finally stepping close enough to rest a hand on the cabinet behind me. He leans over me, close enough that I could raise up and press my lips to his if I wanted. "You mean scary criminals? Or do you mean something else? Something a woman like you shouldn’t be thinking?"
I swallow against the way my throat constricts. His body brushes against mine, and I stop myself from touching him. It's obvious he's coming on to me, though that only became apparent to me in the last few seconds. The line between seduction and intimidation is very thin, but this is not intimidating me. It's pushing my buttons, making my core throb.
"I guess if you want to know how I really feel about you, you'll have to stop by my apartment." I sidestep him. There's no fucking way I'm going to put the moves on him here in my parents' house when my mum could walk in any second. "You'll find the door unlocked. It's round back, past the pool."
Speaking over my shoulder as I walk, I feel nervous energy start in my middle and shoot outward to my limbs. My feet feel heavy and awkward. I think I may trip over them as I walk, but I manage to carry myself gracefully out of the room and through the dining room where the table is almost cleared.
Mum doesn’t say a word as I slip through the kitchen and out the back, and the crisp evening air outside cools my blazing face. I am not sure what the fuck I've just started, but if he comes to my apartment door, I can't back down.
Kelly tells me to live a little all the time. If this isn't "living a little", I don't know what is.