Page 36 of False Start, Real Passion

Maybe I should talk to someone. God knows the gossip rags are dying for this kind of juice. They’d love the idea of the woman who handles athletes losing her cool over the biggest star of them all. Who wouldn’t? Jaxon Reid, notorious playboy quarterback, shakes up smart PR specialist. It’s got a nice ring to it, if you’re into that sort of thing. It’s definitely selling. Me? I can’t decide. And that’s the problem.

The doorbell’s ringing cuts through everything, clear and sudden like a shot in the dark. I jump, physically jump, and my first thought is this: I can’t believe it’s really him. My second thought is worse. It is him. And it scares the hell out of me.

Maybe if I don’t move, it’ll just be another unsolved mystery in a long list of things I haven’t quite figured out. Or maybe it’ll just stop, and I’ll be back to worrying my way through the night alone. But I’m curious. More than that, I’m desperate. So I cross the room, pulse thudding, steps light and fast and feeling entirely unsure. I get to the door and press my eye to the peephole.

He’s right there. Jaxon. No trace of his charming smirk, no swagger in his step. Just him, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, shoulders tense like he’s unsure if I’ll let him in.

He’s the last thing I expect to see.

The world narrows down to the single point of him standing at my door. This is all happening way too fast. This is all happening way too slowly. My feet are rooted to the spot, but my brain’s already opened the door a hundred times, played out every possible scenario. I can see all of it—the way he’ll smile that confident smile of his, the way I’ll cross my arms and tell him this doesn’t change a thing, the way he’ll make me eat my words with another kiss that wrecks my world all over again.

The hesitation on his face, the tension in his body. Is he worried? I’ve never seen that look on him, not in a hundred press conferences or events. I don’t even know if I trust my eyes. But I can’t look away.

And still, I’m holding onto that doorknob like it’s a life preserver.

His weight shifts. He’s not going anywhere. He’s not the type to back down, even if it kills him. But he doesn’t look impatient. He doesn’t look confident.

The door is a hundred times heavier than I expect, or maybe it’s just my hand that’s unsteady. I open it anyway, the rush of my own pulse loud in my ears.

“Hey,” he says. His voice is quiet. Almost timid.

I nod and step back, let him in without saying a word.

He walks past me. Slow, careful. There’s no fire in my apartment, but the air is just as thick and hot, like we’re both afraid it’ll catch any second. He stands near the window. I lean against the wall. Neither of us looks the other way.

“So,” I start. “About last night—”

“Yeah,” he says, cutting me off.

We both go quiet again, our sentences unfinished. They join the rest of the unsaid things between us, adding more weight to the space neither of us can cross.

Jaxon’s never been shy so this version of him is foreign to me. There’s a flicker of something almost sweet in the way he watches me like I might be more than he bargained for. But I’m just as unsure. I’m just as cautious.

A minute goes by. Another. They add up until I lose count. His mouth opens and closes. So does mine. I give up on finding words and hug the wall instead, making myself small like that might make this any easier.

We’ve never been this quiet before.

Finally, he looks down and his hair falls over his eyes.

“So,” I try again. The word stutters out, stops and starts like a busted engine.

“Yeah.” He jumps on it. “I know.”

I drag a breath into my lungs and gather every last ounce of courage. My heart won’t settle down. It’s as chaotic as I am.

It was just a moment of passion, but it’s managed to do this to us. To him. To me.

We are a mess.

He takes a step forward, like he’s finally decided to make his move. But he stops short. He takes it back.

“This is crazy,” I finally say.

He doesn’t deny it. “I know,” he says again.

“Then do something!”

“What do you want me to do?”

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