Page 67 of Love Rewritten

He sighs. “It’s a different bothered. I just hide it well, I guess.”

That’s an incredibly sad thought, but at the same time, I’ve been there. Hiding in plain sight. Logan hides better than I do, though. Far better.

“It’s late. You should get some sleep. I’ll stay up for a while to make sure nothing else happens.”

“What else would happen?”

Logan shrugs. “Probably nothing. But he’s been known to take walks late at night after drinking. Not the worst thing. But I don’t want him to do anything stupid if he does.”

“Like what? Look for his father?”

“That or punch a brick building and break a hand.”

“You say that like he’s done it before.” All Logan does is look at me, brows slightly raised like he’s waiting for me to catch on. Hehasdone it before. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Logan settles on the couch and turns the TV on, flipping through the sports channels before landing on a baseball game replay.

I still stand in the entryway, a bit awkward before deciding I should take Logan’s advice and sleep in my own room, not that I’m in much of a mood to occupy Dallas tonight anyway. Not after finding out about him and Aubrey. “Okay, well, goodnight then.” I start for my door but pause again. “Can you wake me up if anything happens?”

Logan tips his head backward on the couch to look at me. “Sure.”

I give a small smile, but it feels fake for the situation at hand. “Thanks.”

I slip into my bedroom and change. I haven’t slept here in weeks. The bed has turned into a storage surface. Books and piles of clothes scatter the comforter. I put the clothes into the empty hamper to deal with later and stack the books back on the bookshelf. The other bit of clutter I toss to the floor.

The covers are cool on my skin when I slide in and stare at the still ceiling fan. The bed feels too big. The blankets feel too heavy yet not heavy enough. I put a hand out next to me where Dallas usually resides when I’m in his bed, but I’m greeted with nothing but cool air and an empty pillow. It’s weird, and I don’t like it.

But again, would I rather be in bed with him tonight? After learning what I have?

Yes. One hundred percent.

Even through my anger and sadness, it doesn't change how I feel. I choose him.

I do still need an explanation, but now isn't the time to dwell on it ifI can help it.

All I hear outside the room is the muffled sounds of the sports announcer on TV saying something about a failed home run. That means Dallas is staying in his room. That’s good. It eases my nerves the slightest bit. So, I close my eyes and focus on my breathing and anything other than what Dallas might be thinking or doing right now.

My mind races so fast I can't keep up with myself. What is Dallas like drunk? Should I be more cautious than I'm being? Should I have stepped in sooner tonight? Is any of this my fault?

I’ve seen Sam drunk too many times to count and the only way out of it was to stay silent. I’m thankful Logan took the lead on this because I worry that I might have shut down if things got any worse than they did at the bar. And I’m thankful Dallas still had enough sense to listen to Logan.

Sleep takes me easier than expected, and I’m surprised when I wake in the morning. It’s still early based on how little sun pushes through the crack in the curtains. Through the door, Logan and Dallas are talking. I’m curious how he’s doing after last night.

“Let’s just say, it’s a good thing I’ve only got two more days at Landry’s.” Dallas’s voice is sullen, far quieter than he usually talks. I don’t know if that’s because they think I’m still asleep or if he’s truly that defeated.

“Can you get through the next two days okay?” Logan asks.

“I’ll be fine. I made a mistake last night. A big one. But I’m good.”

“Yeah. You did.” There’s a short pause. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. You did this to yourself. You know that. And you know I’m not going to beat around the bush about this. So, figure your shit out before you keep hurting yourself.” There’s another pause. “And others.”

Others. Like Rose, Logan, and me.

“I was so lost last night, Logan. I don’t know what came over me. But I didn’t want to feel like that anymore.”

“You know this more than anyone I know; drinking isn’t the solution to that. I get that you were lost, but you’ve worked hard to get to where you are. Don’t ruin that again. And this relationship with Abby? Drinking will ruin that, too. If you can’t do it for yourself right now, do it for her.”

Someone lets out an audible groan. Likely Dallas. He says, “I’m not going to drink again. But I’m worried I’ve already ruined things with Abby.”

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