Page 57 of Love Rewritten

Everyone gives Rose their orders. Tables are placed. Paint is brought out. Meredith has sketched a few designs on the tops for us “non-artists,” as she called Dallas, Rose, and me, to follow while we paint. I pick one that’s split down the middle with a large sun and moon on it. Dallas picks one with a phrase that says “Hello, beautiful” and a few flowers surrounding it. After Rose makes everyone's drinks, she settles on a table that’s cow print, but Meredith recommends she make it colorful. And Meredith picks one that’s completely blank. She says it’s a surprise but will show us when she’s done.

Most of the time is spent painting in silence. I watch Meredith and Rose sneak glances at each other while they have their own quiet conversation. It’s adorable, though I almost feel like I'm interrupting something. Rose’s cow is slowly turning into a rainbow cow. Dallas sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth ever so slightly while he focuses far too hard on tracing the letters on his table in bright pink. The sun side of my table is almost filled in. It’s a good thing the owner wants a variety of talent because she certainly found it.

“Where’s the black?” I ask, searching the floor covered in paint pallets and brushes.

“There.” Meredith points to the other side of Dallas. He hands me the black and then returns to his focused look, tongue sticking out even further this time.

“I really hope the owner likes these,” I say, starting to trace the moon with the black paint.

Rose looks up from filling in a yellow spot on her cow. “Oh, don’t worry about it. She’s chill. I think she would have painted them but didn’t realize how much time it would take to do by herself, so she wanted to hire out.”

“That’s fair. I don’t think I would want to paint this many tables myself either. Especially those long ones. That would take ages.” I glance over to the wall where two longer tables sit pushed against it. There aren’t any designs sketched on them yet.

“Yeah, I’ll take care of those. I have some fun ideas for them,” Meredith says, following my eyes.

“Like what?” I ask. I refocus on painting the moon. The outline is almost finished. I’ll fill it in with black and add white for the spots and craters.

“That’s a secret. You’ll just have to come back and see it later.”

Dallas looks up, pink paint somehow staining the back of his hand, and chimes in. “Doesn’t feel so good being on the other end of a secret now, does it?”

I know he’s referring to my notebook. “That’s not even the same thing. These are tables. That notebook is my entire life.”

“How do you know these tables aren’t my life's work?” Meredith asks, going along with the joke.

Dallas and I both cock a brow at her, and we all start laughing.

A few hours pass as calm conversation flows between the four of us. It’s times like these that I need to keep myself from feeling like I’m about to explode. And times like last night at dinner with my sister and Will to remember that I’m not completely alone in this. It’s easy sometimes to feel like even the people closest to you don’t really get it. I know they’ll never fully understand. But when someone new comes into the story and they understand as easily as Cameron did, I have to remind myself that I do have people rooting for me. And that I should be rooting for myself, too.

As much as I want to, that’s such a daunting task. After losing so much of myself, my humanity, my autonomy, working back up to those things is, well, a lot. It’s overwhelming to even begin thinking about. Although I suppose I’ve been rebuilding myself piece by piece since I left Sam. That’s a start. That’s something to be proud of. I thought I would be more ashamed to ask for help, but I’m not. I needed a support system to even start.

So today, I’ll focus on being proud of where I am even if deep down I’m still terrified of my own shadow.

Chapter 22

Dallas

Today,thegymismostly empty. It’s a new gym for us. We had to sign up for an actual membership since we can’t use the university gym anymore. It’s a nice place. We picked it mostly because of the extra amenities like fully closed showers and extra equipment most other gyms don’t provide. They even have a small climbing wall in the back.

Logan and I start at the treadmill to get in some cardio first. We both put our headphones on and start jogging. About twenty minutes later, we hop off and head in separate directions. We used to be on similar workout plans, even though Logan tended to almost double whatever he was assigned by the trainers, much to their dismay. Since baseball ended, we’ve started doing more of our own things. I can focus less on my thighs and calves and more on, well, everything else.

I’m halfway through a set of chest presses when a slow trickle of girls makes their way through the gym to one of the glass-encapsulated rooms on the far-left wall. They hold classes in those throughout the day. A variety of options. They seem popular with college students. When I finish my set and let the bars back in, I notice two familiar black braids walking away from me toward the same room.

There’s no way. Right? She surely would have told me she was planning on taking classes. Hell, she could have asked me or Logan for help. Maybe she’s embarrassed. She probably doesn’t know this is the same gym Logan and I signed up for. There are three gyms in Oxly, aside from the one on campus. In the room, a female and a male instructor stand talking to each other at the front. That’s odd. They usually only have one.

Once the class starts, I wander over to the bulletin at the front desk and look over the classes. There’s only one class at this time today. Self-defense.

The finger I had scanning the paper hangs in the air a split second too long. Logan eyes me from across the room. I drop my hand and make my way over to the bench he’s sitting on.

He sets his dumbbells down on his thighs. I could probably get half a set out of those with how heavy they are. “What? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Abby. She’s in the class over there. I’m pretty sure. I never saw her face, but I think I can recognize her from the back.”

Logan smirks.

I smack him on the arm. “I’m serious.”

“Okay, so what’s wrong with her taking classes? She decided to start working out. What’s the big deal?”

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