Page 86 of Blindsided By the Enforcer

What if I want to tell her everything and be everything to her?I keep my thoughts to myself because I can tell how guarded Annie still is.

“I know I don’t have to. I also know the guys in your past weren’t honest with you, and I really respect you. It feels like we are growing closer and I know Scarlett can be vindictive. She will try to break us up.”

“You mean break up our fake relationship?” she corrects to my dismay.

“Right, our fake relationship with benefits.” I smirk. “The thing is, I got Scarlett pregnant our sophomore year. No one knows about it. We kept it a secret. I had only been dating her for about a month. I wasn’t in love with her. When she came to me, I told her I’d support her in whatever she wanted to do. She wanted to keep the baby and I stayed with her.” This is the part when I can no longer look Annie in the eyes because shame washes over me. “I was there for Scarlett and took her to the doctors to get checked. She wasn’t really showing so it was easy to hide. She didn’t really have much morning sickness. By the time she was five months pregnant, we were still together. I felt pushed into something I didn’t want because we were in a relationship at that point. We fought because Scarlett wanted more from me emotionally. I didn’t know how to offer that because I didn’t see her in that way.”

“Oh, Cade.” Annie says, rubbing my thigh.

“One night, we got into a big fight. She lost the baby. After that she was lashing out and she didn’t have anyone because her father was drinking again. She only had me. I stayed with her and took care of her. I put up with too much because I felt soguilty. All my friends thought I was insane for taking so much shit from Scarlett. The doctor in the ER the night she lost the baby explained there was something wrong with the placenta. But I still felt like if I would’ve loved Scarlett more, if I wouldn’t have fought with her, then the baby would be here and she wouldn’t be so messed up. But I know now that Scarlett was never going to let me go. She would have been fine staying with me, just to reap the benefits of my NHL career.”

“Oh, Cade.” Annie’s hands are on my shoulders, rubbing me, consoling me. “That sounds like a horrible situation to be in. I would say I can’t imagine, but my mom didn’t plan on getting pregnant with me. My dad was a farmhand. They were sneaking around behind my grandaddy’s back. It wasn’t supposed to be serious, but when Mom got pregnant Daddy was there for her every step of the way. They weren’t in love, and ever since I can remember, my mother has rubbed it in my face that she isn’t leading the life she wants because she had to make choices as a teenager.”

“Shit, Annie, I didn’t know. Now I feel worse,” Cade says.

“There’s no way you could’ve known that. I’m all too familiar with loveless relationships. It’s my parents’ poor example that probably has led me to confuse intimacy with love where Ford was concerned.”

“Scarlett and I were intimate. We played that game for a long time. I had a feeling she was cheating, but my guilt just made me feel like maybe this is what I deserved,” I confess.

“No one deserves to be treated that way, Cade. You can’t force yourself to love someone you don’t love. Feelings can’t be controlled. And you said it yourself, there was something wrong with the pregnancy. You’re fight or your feelings is not what caused the loss of the baby,” Annie says, trying to make eye contact.

I get up from the bed and turn away from her quickly as I feel the sting of tears in my eyes. I’ve held on to this all by myself for so long. The feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Sadness over Scarlett losing the baby.

Annie wraps her arms around my waist from behind and I feel the press of her head against my back. “I appreciate you sharing that with me, Cade. Did you and Scarlett ever talk about the fight or losing the baby?”

I rub at the wetness in my eyes and turn to face her. “Not really. Scarlett was upset for a while and then it was like it never happened, and she acted like my girlfriend. She put a smile on her face, but deep down I knew things were off with her.”

“Losing a baby is very traumatic. Maybe she should get in touch with a professional and get help. I’m not an expert, but you and her need to sit down and talk about what happened to give you both closure,” she suggests, surprising me. I shouldn’t be though because Annie is selfless and caring.

“I think you’re right. I see that us dating isn’t deterring her from wanting me. Although, at this point, it feels like she’s playing games. I don’t know what her endgame is. I need to have a heart-to-heart with Scarlett and put an end to this once and for all,” I state. When I take in Annie, she’s frowning. “What’s wrong?”

“You won’t need me to be your fake girlfriend anymore,” she says.

Gah, this girl. Doesn’t she know I will always need her? Tell her, Cade. No, you’ll scare her off.

“You still need my help with Ford. I’m not walking away.” I caress the side of her face. Sharing my feelings will be saved for another day.

“Thanks, Cade.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I need to show you how much I missed you this weekend.” I know it’s a little risky, but she doesn’t seem freaked out.

Her smile melts me as she wraps her arms around my neck. “What do you think of us having sex?”

“I’m thinking I like that idea,” she says, surprising me.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way,” I assure.

“I’m not pressured, I want it too, Cade. We always stop ourselves and . . .”

“It’s so hard to stop,” I finish.

She nods.

Our lips crash together, and we kiss hungrily. Something is different tonight as I lift her up and she wraps her legs around my waist. Her fingers thread through my hair and our tongues lash out in hunger. Her heat is pressed up against me. I lower her to the bed. In one swift movement I remove my hoodie along with my T-shirt. My lounge pants come off next with my boxers. I am pulling at my socks as Annie removes her tank top and shorts, leaving her in a light-pink lace bra and panty set.

I lick my lips.

“You always look so hungry, Cade.”

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