Page 42 of Chocolate Cherry Cabin

“I cared,” Louis said.

He’d heard Mrs. Fisher and Hannah’s mom talking in the diner after Hannah’s fainting spell in class. Her mother had stated that it was good Hannah wasn’t going to medical school. No stress from having people’s lives in her hands on a daily basis. No massive student loans to break her. She’d seemed genuine in her relief, and it had made Louis feel for Hannah all the more.

“I’ve seen women trade their dreams for family before. It, uh, can’t be easy.”

“It wasn’t about Calvin!”

“Okay.”

“Did you not see me almost faint in my yard?” She was pointing toward her house. “Or catch me in biology class?”

He fingered the cards in his hand, not looking up. Catching her had scared him. Not because she would have hit her head on the counter if she’d fallen, but because he’d been that tuned into her that he’d noticed something was wrong and was reacting before he could stop and think. And then holding her limp body in his arms—that had been freaky, too. She’d seemed so infallible and tough, and to see her like that had been alarming.

“I think everybody gets wrapped up in their thinking sometimes. They don’t see all of the options.” He picked up a new card from the pile and revealed it. Another exploding kitten. “No defuse.” He slid his cards into the discard pile, having lost the game. “As for your friends, sometimes people don’t see what others are going through.”

After gathering all the cards together, Hannah reshuffled the deck, then set it aside. “You know why I didn’t become a doctor. So why did you act like I’d given up? You all but implied that I was latching on to Calvin because I was giving up out of fear. That I’m too weak or too unambitious, and that it’s to my own detriment. That when things get difficult I roll over.”

Her voice had grown louder and she’d stood up, likely not even aware that she had. Obi pressed his nose against her thigh and she unclenched her fists.

“Didyou give up?” Louis asked, his tone careful and quiet.

“No! I tried to change, okay? I tried self-hypnosis. I borrowed audiobooks from the library to listen to every night. I did everything I could think of to try and get over the fainting issue. I even had this whole mantra about how everything was okay even if somebody was bleeding. None of it worked. Itried.”

Louis reached forward and touched her hand, and she yanked it back. “Giving up those scholarships was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And I hate that you think I hit a roadblock and gave up without even trying. I wascrushed.”

Louis lowered his head, trying to block out memories, pain. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

“So the things you pick on about me suddenly aren’t your business because you might have been wrong? Because I’m making you uncomfortable?” she snapped. “We’refriends, remember? We’re open books.”

“Would you still have married Calvin if you didn’t faint?”

She didn’t answer, just took her plate and put it in the dishwasher. He wasn’t sure if she was giving herself space to think and breathe, or getting ready to leave.

“You’re the only one who ever challenged me about swapping med school for a wedding band,” she said at last. “You know that?”

“Maybe it’s because I cared more than anyone else.”

She let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, right.”

“Maybe Isawhow much you wanted to become a pediatrician and knew that you needed more than marriage to fill you up. Maybe because I’ve seen women give up their careers and their dreams for men who love them.” He unclenched his hands, which had curled into fists on the tabletop. “Love isn’t enough to fill the hole, and I’ve seen it kill people. Is it wrong that maybe I wanted more for you?”

The fire was back. Like the flame that had licked behind every fight they’d ever had, but today it felt big enough to consume them both if let out of control.

“And maybe I just wanted you to be happy for me—because it was my choice.” Her voice was choked with tears.

“And maybe I could see that you weren’t entirely happy with that choice.”

She inhaled sharply through her nose. “Maybe my happiness is none of your business.”

“Maybe I want it to be.”

“How, Louis? It’s always a fight with you. The good times will always lead to yet another fight because you refuse to step back and understand me.”

She was in the doorway, her pretty brown eyes flashing at him. He looked away, knowing it would be easier to speak, to explain, if he couldn’t see her.

“My dad traveled with the military as a pilot,” Louis said. “My mom used to be the chief financial officer for Cohen’s Blissful Body Care in South Carolina—somehow managing her career despite how we moved around from base to base. She loved it. She was made for it. But she gave it up for my dad. For me.”

“She wasn’t happy at home, and she got sick. She became a shell...” He paused and swallowed, then forced himself to meet Hannah’s eyes. “Youhaveto fulfill your dreams. Youhaveto pursue life. You can’t waste it. You can’t let someone else run it all.”

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