Page 33 of Fairy Godmothers Aren't Cheap

“Just a weird day.” I flopped onto the couch, toying with a jagged line of cuticle, pressing it back.

“Every day is weird in your world.” She thought I brought home the strangest stories from my temp jobs. And sometimes I did, but she didn’t understand how much I loved the constant change that came with my job. It kept me from getting stuck in repetition, the years clicking by and blending together until one day I got up from in front of the TV and ran off like my mom had.

Tamara sat in the armchair and shucked off a cowboy boot. Then the second one, dropping it onto the floor with a thud that had likely annoyed Caleb, whose suite was below our living room.

“I think I’m losing my mind,” I said.

“That weird invoice?”

I nodded.

“Well, both you and the lady who came in today,” Tamara said, referring to the dental office where she worked. “There are way too many people with too much dough, staring in the mirror and plotting new ways to spend it.”

“Why? What happened?”

“This woman has a perfect set of chompers and she wants caps.”

“So?”

“She said her real teeth weren’t straight enough, big enough or white enough and that she wanted caps.”

“And?”

“Dr. Gris said she could have them!”

“So?” I picked up one of Tamara’s horse magazines and flipped through a few pages, relieved to be distracted from thinking about myself for a few minutes. “It’s her mouth.”

She slouched into the armchair. “We’re going to whittle down her perfectly good teeth and put on caps. It’s such a waste. It’s so…sovain.”

I laughed. “Welcome to the city. Want some Botox?”

She shot me a dark look. “Don’t even start.”

“A little lipo, maybe? Come on, highlights? A tattoo? Everyone’s doing it.”

She scowled. Her style was all-natural, and she was pretty enough with her brown eyes, matching wavy hair and a gentle spattering of freckles to pull it off. She looked like Maya Rudolph. In other words, entirely adorable.

“So what happened at the YGM place?”

“YFGM? It stands for Your Fairy Godmother.”

Tamara’s face lit up with delight. “Is it a store? It sounds fun! Did you get your invoice cleared up?”

I shook my head. “No. No, it’s…” I sighed and sagged deeper into the couch, hands covering my eyes. “You’re going to think I’m completely crazy.”

* * *

And that washow after explaining my super weird evening to Tamara, I ended up doing it again on Monday night for our other three roommates.

Josie, who’d been quiet for the entire story retelling, stood. “Okay.”

“Okay, what?” I asked.

“We go.”

“There?” I shivered in dread just thinking about going back to the offices of Your Fairy Godmother.

“Yes.”

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