Page 55 of Fairy Godmothers Aren't Cheap

“Are too! So come on. Get with the program. We have more experience than you think. You and I did grad fundraising. We organized helpers for the town’s spring cleanup. We begged businesses to donate to the silent auction when the curling rink’s roof collapsed. We’ve totally got this.”

She seemed happy and calmer than usual, and as she drove us home, there was no lurching, swerving or close calls.

“You really think we could do this?”

“Yes, but we’re going to need to get the girls on board. We need Samantha’s richie-rich connections, Josie’s organizational skills, and Gabby’s physical strength.”

I had wondered what Tamara had planned for our cleaning obsessed roomie. She did work out regularly—mainly to hang out with her crush, Lamonte, who was a fitness buff. But the byproduct was that she was stronger than the rest of us, which would come in handy once we got to the physical labour part of our plan.

“James says he might know some people, too.”

“You really like him, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but it’s not like it’ll go anywhere. I’m not his type.” I could feel my cheeks heating, a familiar sting of rejection hurting in my chest. I wanted to change the subject, take action on the park and forget my inner ache.

“Why not?”

“He wants a functionally cozy family like his own, and I don’t even know how family should work.”

“Give yourself some credit.”

“How? My family was a hot mess, and I don’t even understand love. I’d mess up our marriage in five minutes.” I felt the familiar urge to move, to distract myself from the well of feelings and inadequacies inside me. If I continued to sit here, I’d wallow and what was that going to help? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Tamara, as though sensing my need to move, reached over the console, clasping my left hand in her right one.

“You wouldn’t mess it up,” Tamara said calmly, and with a trustworthy level of authority that it settled my inner demons enough to consider her next words. Her warm hand was grounding, her assurances comforting as she squeezed before releasing her grip. “You know exactly what you want, even when you’re too afraid to go for it.”

I swiped at the sudden wetness in my eyes. “I don’t know what I want.”

Inside me, a whisper took up, calling me a liar. I wanted that same dream James had. I just didn’t believe in it. Especially not on a first try. The divorce rate was around fifty percent for a reason. And I wasn’t sure I could survive a romantic failure at that level. To think I’d found the huge love of my life, something I could trust like thick ice over a lake in midwinter, only to have it shatter beneath me like ice over a spring puddle and plunge me into life-threatening waters. Devastating.

“Char,” Tamara said gently, reclaiming my left hand for another squeeze, “he likes you. Sometimes that’s enough. You just have to be brave and say what you think and feel.”

I nodded, trying to focus on the flickering cozy feeling that James’s crush might be real—so real that others could see it, and verbally confirm it for my disbelieving heart.

“He said he broke up with his fiancée because there was no room for spontaneity.”

“Really? That’s practically your middle name!”

A surge of joy soared through me, tugging my lips into a grin. “Right?” I was Oprah Charmaine Spontaneity Adventure McDonnell.

Her voice lowered in seriousness. “Don’t let your fears keep you from this guy, Char. He’s special.”

I nodded again, sniffing back tears. He truly was. Even if he was out of reach for someone like me, who had so much baggage that I tripped over it with every step I took forward.

“So?” Tamara asked, after we’d gone a block in silence. “You’re going to try making a park?”

“Yeah, I guess.” I wanted to keep talking about James, not my fairy godmother problems. But I did need to get going on a large-scale karmic project because, if Josie’s math was correct, I only had eighty more days to come up with over a hundred grand. A little more pressing than my growing crush.

“What do you think a wish would cost me to get the park started?” I asked Tamara. “Would the expense outweigh what it could possibly bring in if I wished for the right kind of help?”

“No! No more wishes.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” The car swerved slightly under her care. “All the reasons! Do I really have to list them all for you?”

“I guess not.”

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