Page 52 of However You Want Me

I whisper back, “There’s one more.”

He blinks, his hand coming to rest on my cheek. He tilts my face up another inch and holds my head still. “Who?” We wrote down every name. Every single person who laid a hand on either of us. They got their punishments that were due.

“My mother. She’s snooping around and she’s seen you. We can’t risk her putting the pieces together. Besides, she was never punished for what she did. We have to do the right thing. We have to punish them.”

He starts to pull away, but I get my hands to his neck and bring him back. “That’s?—”

“Dean, listen to me.” I need this. I don’t want to start off by saying so, but I need to be free of her interference. I need to be free of wondering if it’s her when the door opens. I never want to answer my phone and hear her voice again. I’ve implied that to him before, but there were always other people to worry about first. And if she’s watching us… she could ruin everything.

Now they’re all gone. Everybody’s been crossed off the list but she added her name to the fucking bottom. All she had to do was leave me alone. I would have let her live. But she couldn’t do that.

There were times I thought I could let it go and just forget about her, but that’s not going to be possible. She’s never going to leave me alone. She’ll keep trying to get back into my life until I put a stop to it.

Every person on that list deserved worse than to be killed and forgotten.

My throat closes, and I can’t speak for a minute. Part of me still wishes she would change. I wish she would write to me and tell me how wrong she was for disregarding me.

I’d still want her gone, even if she did that. There are some things you can’t take back.

She can never take this back. And I would do anything for Dean. She should have never laid eyes on him. She’s not worthy of judging him.

It takes a few more beats to steady myself.

I finally tell him, “She deserves it as much as the rest of them do.”

He closes his eyes, his dark lashes coming to rest on his cheeks. I’ll never forget how he looked the first time I saw him, back at school. The warmth I felt when his eyes met mine kept me alive for months after that. It gave me hope even when there was no reason for me to be hopeful.

Somehow, I just knew. Most people would say that you can’t know so much about a person from a single glance. They’re wrong. You can know everything you need to know about that person if the circumstances are just right to let yousee.

And Isawhim. And he saw me.

I’ll always see him just how he was, and just how he is.

How both of them are.

Dean opens his eyes and strokes my hair again, centering himself. It takes a little longer this time, but finally his fingertips trace my cheekbone and down over my jaw until his hand drops to mine. He twines our fingers together. Whenever he does this, I fall for him all over again. It’s his way of telling me without words that it’s us against the world.

It’ll always be us.

“Is this the last one?”

I step closer, still holding his hand, and kiss him.

“I promise.” Another kiss. I’m sealing my promises with them. They were forbidden for so long, and now that they’re not, I’ll give them whenever I can. “And then we’ll get the happily ever after we should have had.”

“Okay,” he whispers, and presses a final kiss to my forehead. “Did you write me a note?”

I take out my notebook. The time and location are already there on the page. I tear it out, fold it up, and hand it to him. “Leave it in your pocket until he’s ready.”

“I always do.” He traces the note with the pad of his thumb, then slips it into his pocket. His eyes come back to mine with another question. “You won’t leave me, right?”

“I would never leave you. I love you both.”

He looks away. It’s my turn to put my hands on his face so he’ll look at me. I’ll never be able to erase the pain those people caused, but I can do my best to make sure he doesn’t feel like I’ll cause him more.

“We’ve talked about this,” I say gently. “You’re both worthy of love. You’re both worthy of so much love.”

“I’m the one who’s a monster,” he whispers.

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