Page 36 of However You Want Me

I think about the girl.

I think about her face in the room with no cameras, and I think about her face on the other side of that glass.

I’m not paying much attention at all to the lunchroom, which is why I almost miss it when the riot starts.

It starts because of Mr. Jay.

One minute, I’m sitting still, waiting to be dismissed.

The next minute, there’s a sound.

It’s the sound of a hand hitting skin. More specifically, the sound of a palm slapping someone’s face. Hard.

I don’t look up because of the slap. People get hit all the time here, and rule number one is that we’re never supposed to look at anyone else.

But then there’s another sound.

Normally, the only sound after somebody gets hit is an involuntary grunt or a cry or a gasp if the person is new.

The second sound is a growl.

That’s the sound of somebody snapping. Of somebody deciding that they’ve had enough.

That hasn’t happened in a while and I wonder if it’s someone new here. Someone who doesn’t know any better.

I pick my head up and look before I can think about the rules.

I see the kid immediately. He’s one of the guys from my dorm. I usually don’t hear a single word out of him. I can’t remember the last time I heard him talk, if I ever heard him talk. The growl he let out might be the first time I’ve ever heard his voice.

I do know his name, though. I’ve seen him respond to it a time or two.

But never anything like this.

He puts both hands on the table with a hard slap in front of him and gets to his feet.

The room is dead silent. Nobody moves. Nobody even breathes. I don’t hear a single piece of cutlery hitting a single plastic tray. Without looking around, I know that everybody’s eyes are on him, just like mine.

He’s fully out of his seat when Mr. Jay’s brow furrows and we all recognize that look.

Somebody behind me takes a deep breath.

I guess we’re all realizing that the kid has a couple of inches on Mr. Jay.

He stares at Mr. Jay’s face with his lip curled, so disgusted that his cheeks are red.

The whole world seems to stop at this moment. If somebody told me that the whole planet paused to find out what would happen between some kid and Mr. Jay, I would believe it.

Then the kid’s hands come up. I can practically feel everybody’s heads move just a little to follow his fists. It seems surreal, like a game on TV. I haven’t seen one of those since I came here.

Unlike the boxing matches my dad used to watch, there’s so much anger. So much thick tension that suffocates the room.

The crack of Mr. Jay’s jaw ricochets off the wall.

An energy goes through the room. That’s everybody understanding, all at the same time, that we outnumber the staff in the lunchroom. That they aren’t the most powerful. That they can be broken too.

Everything had been so routine and so calm that Mr. Jay only has one other guy in here with him.

There are a lot more of us than there are of them.

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