Page 191 of Dark Souls

He swallowed. “You turned off your humanity?”

“I did.”

“Why? How long ago? What colour were your eyes before?”

“Fuck me,” I groaned. “Ease up on the interrogation.”

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Just excited to have another person to speak to after being alone for so long. I get it. Boundaries. You’re not a big talker. You don’t have to tell me. I’ll shut up and leave you in peace.” He pretended to zip his mouth closed and threw away an invisible key. I glared at him through my slits of red, seeing straight through his manipulation. He started humming.Fuck no.I’d rather his incessant talking.

“Can’t remember how long ago. Over a century, at least. I turned my humanity off because it was that or kill myself because I couldn’t live with the pain. The loss. The guilt. I knew I wouldn’t survive it. And I had to survive.”

Hayes just stared at me, for once keeping his thoughts to himself. I didn’t know if I preferred that or not.

“And I… I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember…”

“What colour my eyes were.”

“You’re kidding?” Hayes’ mouth fell open.

I shook my head, folding my arms across my chest. “I don’t remember much from my previous life. I block most of it out, even when I try to think of my father. My brother. My mother. Their faces are blurred. Warped to dull the pain. Sometimes I dream of them. But I am no longer sure if the people I see are really them or just an image I’ve created in my head.” I kicked my leg out straight in the sand. “For years, I’ve barely existed. I survived because I had to, not because I wanted to.” I chuckled, the deep sound rumbling from my chest and vibrating off the cold walls. “And now that I want to live, I’m finally going to die. How’s that for irony?”

“Hmm,” Hayes agreed, cracking his knuckles. “One of life’s cruel jokes.”

“Jokes on me, huh?” I smirked.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Mr Can’tKeepHisMouthShut piped up again.

“Do you really think they are going to kill you? After everything they have done to keep you?”

“Yeah.”

“Why though?”

“Maybe they have put me down here to see how things pan out, hoping that nothing will come of the situation and the royals will remain oblivious to their involvement and then, maybe, years from now, they will let me out only to control me again. But…if my plan works, they’ll soon figure out that I’ve fucked with them. If Ilaria rescues Hana, they will know. And then they will definitely kill me.”

“So, wait…” Hayes shuffled forward a little. “You knew if you turned that human to protect Ilaria and help her find your sister that it would result in your death?”

“Their lives mean more to me than mine.”

“Wow. That’s some heroic shit right there.” Hayes shook his head in disbelief.

“I’m no hero. The world has always seen me as a villain. And I haven’t given them much of a reason to change that view.”

“Hmm, except you are willing to risk your life to save the lives of others. That sounds like a pretty heroic act to me.”

I held up my finger to pause him. “Two lives. There are only two lives I give a fuck about saving. Everyone else can go to hell.”

“Anti-hero then?” He smirked, amused with himself. I rolled my eyes. “And actually, three.”

“What?”

“You saved mine. You could have killed me, drank my blood and given yourself a better chance at surviving this, but you didn’t.”

“The night’s still young.” I fought the twitching of my lips.

He smirked, leaning back against the rock. “Nah. We’re buds now. You won’t kill me.”

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