Page 31 of Dark Souls

Opening the huge scrapbook with cut-out magazine models, sketches and glitter, I read the page I’d landed on with amusement at our teenage selves. It was our dream list of attributes we hoped our fated mates would have. I remember her so vividly forcing me to do this shit as I groaned and rolled my eyes, more interested in attempting to dye my hair pink than talking about pointless romantic crap.

“This so stupid, Neve. We don’t get to choose who our soulmates are, so why waste our time thinking about what we want them to be like? They’ll be whoever they’re meant to be.”

“Because it’s fun! Just think, we can look at this one day and see if we were right. If we’re lucky, we’ll get the exact type of guy we want.”

“Sounds like a recipe for disappointment.”

“Do you always have to be such a negative Nelly? Come on, Ilaria, there must be something you want your mate to be?”

“Breathing. That would be a good start.”

“Haha. Seriously, tell me just three things.”

“I am serious. Our mates could die before we even get a chance to meet them. I think breathing is perfectly good criteria.”

“Omg, you are so morbid.” She slammed her hand over her forehead and shook her head.

“Fine. Tell me your checklist for the perfect guy,” I’d said, indulging her just to see her smile again.

“Hot. Obviously. Not super fussy on species, but if I could pick, I’d go with a wolf. Sexy. Good kisser. Kind. Loyal. Protective but not obsessive or anything. Sweet. Romantic. A fighter but a lover type. Funny. Manly but with a gooey centre. A six-pack, oh and one of those V things that dips—”

I burst out laughing. She chuckled with innocence as she shouted defensively, “What?”

“Not asking for much, then?”

“Hey, I’m manifesting here. Why would I not ask for everything I want? Come on then, let’s hear yours.”

I shook my head, leaning back against the headboard of her bed. “Honestly, I haven’t really thought much about it. Or him. I guess I just presume that as my soulmate, he’ll be my match, so why drive myself crazy wondering?”

“It’s not crazy! It’s exciting. Just try it. Okay, would you want him to be kind-hearted?” I shrugged my shoulders. She huffed. “Obviously good-looking?”

“Looks don’t really bother me that much. I’d rather him look… different to the norm, I guess. Alternative. Not classically handsome or anything.”

“Okay.” She nodded, trying to keep her excitement at bay that she was finally getting somewhere with me. “Species?”

I sighed. “Vampire, I guess. It would make things easier.”

“How so?”

“They’d understand. They’d be able to relate to the urges.”

“The blood?” she clarified.

I scoffed. “Yeah. And the other stuff.”

“Okay, so a rude, alternative, quirky-looking vampire. We are onto a winner.”

“Hey, I didn’t judge your nauseous choices!”

“They are not nauseous!”

“Sweet? Romantic? Manly with a gooey centre? Please, I’d throw up.”

“So you would rather they be an asshole?”

“For you? No. For me? Maybe. It would make life more interesting. Challenging. And you know, I thrive with a challenge. I dunno. I guess I just don’t want to be bored shitless. I want someone… who isn’t perfect. Who has flaws, is unpredictable and matches my crazy. I want someone I can be completely myself with without the fear that they’ll run a mile when I reveal my quirks. Someone who recognises their own monsters and lets them find a home in the darkness with mine.”

Neve stared at me blankly, blinking a few times as my words settled between us.

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