Page 44 of Dark Souls

“No,” I answered instantly. “I’m afraid that I might never climb back out. Or that I might not want to.” She was silent for a long time after that. We both were. And for the first time, I wished I could read her mind. I knew she must be thinking that the darkness that calls to me was because of my vampire side. My Romano blood. But I wasn’t even sure if that was entirely true or just an excuse they were all using to try to understand me better. What if my affliction with all things dark and wicked was just me? Just who I was. Would that be so bad?

“What are you thinking?”

She rolled onto her side, stroked a strand of my blonde hair behind my ears and smiled. “I was thinking that you amaze me. You are curious about life and all it has to offer. And I know you will never settle for what society deems as the perfect life. Because you don’t want perfect and to be honest, there is no such thing. We all have our own views and values on what life we want for ourselves and I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t have what you want because it’s different from what I or the rest of the world thinks you should have. So, if you want to dive down that well, do it, sweetheart. Because I raised you to be strong, resilient and so determined, I would never doubt that you wouldn’t find a way out if you needed to. And who knows, what you find might not be what you expect but, more than likely, what you need.”

“And what do I need?”

I stared up at her, allowing her to keep stroking my hair, even though I normally shied away from physical affection. The way her soft fingers delicately caressed each strand brought back so many nostalgic memories of being curled up in her lap as she read me fairytales as a child. Even then, I had always rooted for the villains. The dark characters that made terrible choices. Everyone else saw evil. But I saw passion. I saw intrigue. Were they really so bad or were we just trained to never question their choices? Would the story still end the same if the heroes tried to understand them instead of fighting them? So often they were written off without any chance of redemption. And while my brothers would celebrate their defeat, I felt a sense of disappointment. What always struck me about villains the most was that they were alone in the world. If someone had taken the time to care for them, to show them love, would they have ended up the way they did? Probably not. Don’t get me wrong. There was definitely evil in the world and, for some people, no redemption for their sick and twisted ways. But, perhaps, some villains are just misunderstood.

‘Like Heathen.’

“I guess you’ll have to figure that out for yourself, sweetheart. But do you know what? Even if you can’t find your way out of that well, it wouldn’t matter because you’d have an entourage of people making a never-ending rope to help you out.”

I smiled. That was true.

“So, let me get this straight. You are encouraging me to embrace my urges?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at her with suspicion.

“I am encouraging you to do whatever makes you happy. I raised you to be confident in who you are and what you stand for. You know right from wrong. You excel at not taking anyone’s bullshit. I have faith that even if you give into whatever urges you have, you would never cross a line you couldn’t come back from. I’m on your side, darling. Always.”

I found my throat tightening with emotion as she leaned over and kissed my forehead. I don’t think she had any idea what hearing those words meant to me. It was more than just acceptance. It was trust. That was the reason why, no matter how much darkness I craved, I would never end up a villain. Because I had people like her in my corner, showering me with unconditional love. I was one of the lucky ones.

“Oi, you two! Get your butts over here. The bride-to-be wants to play Truth or Dare.”

Mum stood up, grabbing my hand and yanking me to my feet as I felt a twisted smirk crawl up my face. Oh, I did love a game of truth or dare. And I knew exactly why Sienna had requested it. Payback for the first night I ever met her and dared her to jump off a cliff into the sea.

Her amber eyes met mine with mischief as I sat down unsteadily opposite her. “Ilaria, Truth or Dare?”

I matched her bold smile with my own. “Dare. Of course.”

“I dare you to dive into the lake.”

I rolled my eyes as everyone else applauded her unoriginal and boring dare with cheers. “Is that all?”

“Naked.”

“Fine. But that means we are even.” I shrugged, standing up and removing my boots. It wasn’t the easiest task as I stumbled and Lacey had to steady my body as I undressed with about as much grace as a newborn foal.

“Are you sure she’s okay to swim? She can barely walk in a straight line!” My Grandma Maddy panicked as I marched towards the lake.

“I’ll be fine! I need to check skinny-dipping off my fuck-it list anyway!” I yelled as I threw my bra back at them over my shoulder. I wouldn’t be showing them my tits when my family did not know I’d pierced my own nipples. Using my vampire speed, I zoomed up to the wooden jetty, leaving their laughter and whooping behind. I inhaled the fresh air, the scent of pine and earth grounding me as I stared out across the inky surface of the water. It looked sinister and uninviting, which made me even more determined to dive in. I stumbled a little, feeling lightheaded and fuzzy, causing me to laugh at my drunk self. Hooking my thumbs into my lace thong, I dragged it down my thighs and stepped out of it, making them all cheer that I was really seeing this through.

“Bunch of perverts!” I bellowed with a smirk. Deciding to give them a spectacular show, I wiggled my toes over the edge, lifted my hands above my head in a diving stance and leaped into the air in what I would describe as a dive worthy of an Olympic gold medal.

Plunging headfirst into the freezing water, it felt like thousands of tiny knives were stabbing at my skin, trying to penetrate deep into my bones. The shock of the chilling sensation rippled through my body as I swam until the initial sting gave way to the numbness. Breaking through the surface, my first breath caught in my throat as I struggled to take in enough oxygen in one go but soon the discomfort turned into wonderful exhilaration. There was a sense of liberation that came with being so at one with nature. Or maybe I really was just deliriously high.

“Ilaria! Are you good?” Sienna shouted from the small crowd that had formed at the edge of the lake.

“Fucking fantastic. Carry on and don’t wait for me. I’m going for a swim!” I replied, turning onto my back and leisurely propelling my arms through the water as I stared up at the silvery moon above. Assured that I wasn’t about to drown, they wandered back over to the campfire and continued the game. Their laughter and shouting disturbed the natural calm of my surroundings and I found myself growing irritated. I tried to block them out so I could enjoy the tranquil peace of the lake but then the squealing started and I huffed.

Turning abruptly, I dived beneath the surface once more and slowly released my breath, so I submerged deeper into the darkness, welcoming its velvety embrace. The world above disappeared, replaced by a comforting silence and stillness. The only noise was the slow, soothing beat of my heart echoing in my ears. I felt weightless as I floated in a timeless existence. Maybe I should have been born a mermaid. I think I’d have liked a life beneath the waves. My white hair danced around me as I peered up at the surface, enjoying the eerie reflections the moonlight caused upon the rippling water above.

And then I saw it.

A flash of red.

The colour that has always haunted me throughout life. The colour of temptation. But tonight, it had no business being here. It was severely out of place between the green of the forest, the blackness of the water or the luminance of the moon. But there it was. Hovering over the jetty’s edge like a beacon, calling to me. Curiosity and the need to know that I wasn’t hallucinating forced my body towards it, and as I drew closer to the surface, that red became more prominent and shapely. It also had a face attached to it, one that warped with the ripples of the water and was too difficult to make out.

The moment I broke through, my shocked gasp cut through the air, only for my next inhale to become jammed in my chest. I stared up at the owner of all that dark red hair, crouching at the edge of the jetty.

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