Page 140 of Dark Souls

He fixed me with a no-nonsense stare. “I’m a Demonski Upir, Ilaria. It’s a miracle I am even still alive today. People will always fear me. I will always be hunted. And I will eventually be killed. I will not take you with me.”

“But surely that is my choice, not yours.”

“Ilaria, don’t be stupid. Giving me your soul is suicidal. I am not free. The Devil could kill me whenever he chooses. And even if I were free. I would always have a target on my back, which would mean so would you.”

“Luka.” I grabbed his face in my hands. “You will be free. Things will change. I believe that. Times are different now. My family is in power and things will be different for you.”

“I used to believe the world would change. It has only ever proved me wrong.”

“Then ask yourself this: why would I want to live a day in a world without you?” He stared into my eyes and I knew he could see how much I truly meant that. Now I’d found him, I couldn’t imagine living without him and Heathen. My life would be empty. I would be empty.

“Because you are young, Ilaria. You have a family that loves you. A whole life to live. I may not make it out of this alive but you can. And with The Devil having complete control over Heathen’s soul, I don’t know what that would mean for yours if you gave it to him. The Devil might then control you too. Who knows?”

I dropped my hands from his face, seeing my stubbornness reflected in his. This would only become an argument neither of us would win and there was so much more I needed to know. So, I took my shot instead.

“Shall I continue?” he asked and I nodded, inhaling deeply. “Because Olja was a vampire and Voldislavu’s soulmate, my family’s bloodline was stronger than the others. We had more of his gifts, more of his powers. My father, being the firstborn, also was the most powerful of his siblings, especially after he drank Voldislavu blood the day he died.”

“Your dad drank Voldislavu’s blood out of choice?” I couldn’t contain the gasp this time.

“Yes. It is the primal calling of the firstborn to maintain the strength of the original ancient demon bloodline. He gained more of Voldislavu’s powers after that. He became faster and stronger and gained the ability to take on others’ appearances and perform telekinesis. It literally would take an entire coven’s magic to take him down.

By the 18th century, my father had found my mother, his soulmate. She was a vampire. They soon had my older brother Zoran, their firstborn. Around this time, rumours started circulating about Demonski Upirs being the cause of human hysteria in the Middle Ages. By the time I was born in 1805, Demonski Upirs were being hunted throughout Europe by other supernaturals. Fear-mongering is a powerful thing. It wasn’t long before Demonski Upirs, especially the weaker ones with human genes, became an endangered species. And then they came for us. They’d had enough practice to find out how to kill our kind, had banded together enough slayers and they were powerful enough to take on Voldislavu’s ancient bloodline. Many of my father’s siblings and their families tried to fight but that only seemed to fuel the hysteria around us, seeing us as monsters that gained more and more supernaturals to join the cause to eradicate us. Soon it felt like the universe was against us and nowhere was safe. So we went into hiding. We separated into smaller groups, moved around constantly and never socialised with anyone outside the family.”

“That must have been really lonely.”

“It was all I was used to. By the time both Hana and I were born, it was all we knew. We hunted together at night, mainly cattle but sometimes we’d be lucky enough to find the odd stray human no one would miss. Our vampire side can function on blood alone but our demon side needs organs to survive and be at full capacity. Animal organs can suffice but they don’t give us the same nutritional strength that humans do.” His shoulders tensed as he quickly met my eye and then looked away. “It became harder and harder to survive. We couldn’t risk entering human villages often and sometimes, we even had to resort to hanging around cemeteries in the dead of the night.”

I tried to keep my face emotionless as he said the next sentence.

“We’d dig up fresh graves and eat the organs of the recently deceased. It would keep me and Hana from starvation as we grew up but it was never enough for my father or Zoran. They needed fresh organs. They had no choice but to kill. Once I reached full growth at eighteen, I had to join them and kill innocents too. My mother’s life depended on my father’s blood. He was the rock of our family. We all depended on him. When he was around, we never felt afraid. But he felt the burden of being a Demonski Upir more than any of us. I’d overhear him and my mother speaking late at night many times about how he blamed himself for giving us all this life.”

I reached for his hand and squeezed it.

“It’s not the life I want to give you, Ilaria.”

“It won’t be. It will be different,” I repeated, having enough hope for our future for the both of us and he clicked his neck to the side. He took another shot of vodka and rolled his broad shoulders before he continued with the next part. I could tell he was leading up to some dark memories.

“We moved around so much but we always tried to come back to our home country every few years. Serbia was where we were all happiest. I had just turned twenty when we came back for the last time. It was then that I met Belladonna.”

Just hearing her name from his lips sent unrelenting rage and hatred soaring through my veins. I had never hated anyone in my life more than I hated her and I’d never even met the woman, nor ever would. It was infuriating as much as it was consuming. I held up my hand to pause him as I poured myself another shot and downed it. He watched me carefully as I gestured for him to continue. I’d been dreading this part the most but I had to know.

“I’d taken Hana into the woods with me to hunt for grey wolves and deers. I’d just taken out a wolf when I realised Hana wasn’t where I left her. My frantic search through the forest ended when I spotted her wading through a small stream, giggling and kicking at the water with a young woman. For a moment, she looked so youthful and carefree, the way a little girl of eight should be. I didn’t have the heart to tell her to get out. The woman was pointing out all the different types of flowers on the riverbank and picked one, placing it behind Hana’s ear. She told her it matched the colour of Hana’s hair and now she was a beautiful woodland fairy. Except she spoke in English, so Hana didn’t understand. I could speak a little already from our stint hiding in England a few years prior. Whenever: Whenever we visited a new place, I enjoyed immersing myself in different languages. I seemed to have a talent for it. Because I told Hana what the woman said in Serbian, they both spun around and noticed me. I remember it being Belladonna’s eyes that captured me first. They were the darkest shade of brown but with an outer ring of blue, so strange and unique. She smiled at me politely until she saw the blood smothered across my cotton top. I quickly explained I’d been hunting deer and she relaxed. That was her first act of deceit. To pretend to be unsure of me. To pretend she didn’t know what I was the moment she saw the blood on my shirt. She suspected, at least. Of course, she was in Serbia for that very reason. To find my family.”

“She weakened your judgment of her by manipulating an innocent child into thinking she was a kind girl who loved flowers? God, I really despise this bitch. I might need to break something once you finish this part.”

Luka smiled a little but it never met his eyes. “It was my fault for not seeing it. For ignoring everything my parents had ever taught me. I stayed. I sat on the riverbank and talked to her. Because she couldn’t speak Serbian and Hana couldn’t understand English, I didn’t worry that Hana might out us or say something suspicious. She told me her name was Donna. She was a beautiful girl who seemed harmless. I didn’t think having a conversation with her in an isolated forest would be a big deal. I craved connection. The need to feel normal. To be seen and to speak to another human being that wasn’t a relation to me. That day at the river, it was the happiest I had seen Hana as she played in the stream and made flower crowns with her. It was the happiest I had felt, too. Donna was pretty, charming, sweet and brimming with life. I was a twenty-year-old who was having his first interaction with a beautiful girl and I was developing my first crush. I wondered if she was my soulmate. But Heathen didn’t think so. Although he was just as excited about the prospect of some female company at last.”

I poured another shot.

“She asked if she could see me again and meet by the river the next morning. She fed me a story that I was gullible enough to believe. Or maybe I just wanted to believe it too badly to look for the lies. She said she was born in England but was now living with her aunt in the local village. That she didn’t speak the language well and was lonely. I was the first person kind enough to take the time to talk with her. I didn’t even realise she was a witch, having never come across one before. She asked to meet by the river the next day as I walked her to the outskirts of the village, and I agreed. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was risky to start up something with her but I couldn’t stop. We started to meet nearly every day. I would tell my parents I was hunting in the nearby woods and I would sit with her on the bank and we’d just talk. The fourth day I met with her, she said she had a secret to tell me. Something that she feared I would judge her for and that I could never tell a soul. She told me she was a white witch who made simple potions from herbs and flowers, which was why she knew so many of the names of them. She’d been sent to live with her aunt because her parents feared for her safety in England after the witch hunts in the past. Apparently, they had barely made it out undetected themselves. I didn’t tell her who I was but it made me connect with her on a deeper level. I felt like we had something in common, both not truly accepted for who we were. She gained my trust that day by confiding in me. Of course, it was all lies. But I was in too deep to realise. Every time I was in her company, I felt lighter. Happier. Freer. It was an addictive feeling. And then one day by the river, after about a week of meeting in secret, she kissed me. And I believed it. I believed she wanted me. She had the gift of seduction and she was such a master in her craft that I hadn’t even noticed the subtle fog of lust that took hold every time I was in her company. I thought I was just a young man experiencing his first love. We continued to see each other for nearly a month, the relationship growing more… physical.”

I held up my hand. Took another shot. Exhaled and nodded.

“She told me she had fallen in love with me. That she wanted to be with me and marry me. Of course, I agreed to it all. I was young and naïve. I thought I felt the same. Her magic had worn me down to where I no longer cared about finding my soulmate. I couldn’t see a future without her. Even Heathen was contemplating it. But none of it was real. It was all an illusion she had orchestrated to get close to me. To finally get me to reveal who I was.” He ran his hand through his hair as anguish flickered through his red eyes before they returned to anger. “Finally, I believed she would accept me like I’d accepted her. I thought she truly loved me and I could trust her with my life. First, I told her I was a vampire to see her reaction. She smiled. Seemed excited by the confession, which only gave me the confidence to tell her the whole truth the very next day. I shifted into Heathen and let him meet her. She didn’t run away screaming. She didn’t try to kill me or tell the whole village about me like my parents had always warned me would happen if I trusted an outsider. Instead, she kissed him. She made him believe she wanted him, too. That night, I decided I would tell my family about us. I planned to invite her to the cottage to meet my family so they could see that she could be trusted with our secret.”

My eyes watered as I tried to hold it together in front of him. Of course, he was talking about all of this without an ounce of emotion but I could still feel it. He buried the pain deep within himself. And it hurt me to know that he blamed everything on himself.

“My family were sitting at the dinner table, the five of us, when I told them. I’ll never forget their faces. Pure panic and disappointment. There were about four seconds of heavy silence after I told them she would be here soon to meet them and they could see for themselves that we were in love. My father asked the only question they needed to know. Was she my soulmate? As soon as I hesitated, chaos ensued. They wouldn’t listen. Immediately, my mother told Hana to go to her room and start packing up her things. Zoran grabbed me by the collar and slammed me against the wall, demanding to know why I was so stupid. My father tore him off me, only to yell at me himself. My mother started crying as she raced around the house, throwing possessions into a bag. I remember feeling so angry with them. I said I wouldn’t be leaving again. That I was staying behind to be with Donna. Zoran told me I’d be digging my own grave.

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