Page 85 of Dark Souls

“I think the bigger problem is… what if I do?” I whispered, drawing my face closer to his until our noses brushed. He held my gaze, and it felt like time had paused just for us to hold on to this moment. This connection. I was seconds away from caving into my desire to feel those lips again, so I turned away, breaking the spell. I took a deep breath before I faced him. “You’re going to show me exactly who you are. All of it. The good, the bad, the terrifying. I want it all. I need to take the plunge into your darkness so I know who you really are. I’m not easily scared, so don’t try to shield me from anything.”

“Why? Why do you want to do this?”

“Because only then will we both know what this is. I’m under no illusion that it will be pretty. We will argue, fight, test each other along the way. We will probably want to kill each other multiple times, but we need to do this. I need to do this. I know that you don’t trust me. You don’t trust that I won’t leave at the first sign of horror or things that make me uncomfortable. You think I can’t handle whatever it is you are hiding about yourself, but I know I can. I know I am strong enough. So just let me prove it.”

He stared at me for what felt like an eternity before he replied, “How?”

I inhaled deeply, bracing myself for this next part. This was it. If he refused this, there was nowhere for us to go.

“Make me a member ofThe Underground.Help me to help Heathen—” Before I had even finished my sentence, he’d ripped his hands out of his pockets and delved them into his hair as he paced the forest floor, muttering under his breath in another language. “Will you just hear me out?”

“So, this is just about him? About Heathen? You are using me to help him?” he shouted, his red eyes blazing.Ah shit.

“No! Don’t be ridiculous. This is about all of us. Yes, I made Heathen a promise I would help him. But the only way I can do it is if me and you work together. If you meet me halfway. And we need to spend time together to get to know each other. To see if this thing between us has a—”

“Has a what?” he growled. Anger was the only emotion he was capable of as he stormed towards me. “A future? We don’t need a crystal ball to figure that one out, Ilaria. Right now, we have no future. Because I am—” He growled with frustration when the words seemed unable to leave his lips. “What you are asking me to do could put your life in danger. Do you not understand? You could die just by being associated with me, let alone being my mate. And I won’t do it.” He started running his hand down his face in exasperation.

“No,” I shouted, losing my calm and collected persona and letting the real fiery vixen inside free. “I don’t understand shit! You are so fucking vague about everything. How the hell am I supposed to know what you mean? You are The Dealer. You runThe Underground,don’t you? From what I’ve seen and heard, everyone is terrified of you, so why would I be in any danger if I was by your side?”

“It’s not that simple, Ilaria.”

“Then just tell me! Spell it out! Write it in a letter. Send it in your shouty caps messages. I don’t care, just tell me what you aren’t saying. Why would I be in any danger being with you? Who are you scared of? Is it The Devil? The man who owns the club who you work for?”

“No one. I am scared of fucking no one,” he roared, pushing me up against the tree and caging me in. The lethal aggression that was radiating from him had fear spike through my veins, as well as arousal. There really was something wrong with me. “Do you hear me? I will never fear another soul as long as I breathe. I don’t care what they do to me. I will never give them my fear. But fearing for someone else’s life is a weakness that I know all too well. And I can’t do it again. Not with you.” He seemed to calm down as he placed his forehead against mine. “No one can know who you are to me. No one. Because I trust no one. Do you understand that?”

I nodded, finally getting it. He’d lost someone. Someone he loved. Maybe more than one person. And his fear was about it happening again. Whatever haunted his past was still very much tormenting his present.

“Then we’ll hide it.”

“What?”

“We will hide who we are to each other. In public, at the club, we will act as if we don’t know each other. You don’t even need to help me with Heathen. Just get me a membership in the club and I’ll do the rest. All I need is a few hours at each event, so I can read people’s minds and try to figure out how to help him and—”

“You can read people’s minds?” He jumped back away from me in alarm as I blinked rapidly.

“Yeah. It’s a gift I was born with. Or sometimes a curse.”

“Can you read mine?” He grabbed my arms almost desperately, his eyes searching mine.

“No. My soulmate is immune to it, as well as anyone blood-related to me or related through a mate bond.” I said softly, already knowing he’d be disappointed, but I wasn’t prepared for the broken look on his face as he stepped back. My heart nearly shattered for him. And then realisation dawned. The same frustration and pain was on Heathen’s face when I couldn’t read his. “Wait. Can you not tell me things about yourself or your past?”

He stared at me blankly. His nostrils flared.

“Oh my gods.” I slammed my hand over my mouth. “You said in that video that you weren’t free. Heathen said something similar. You both work forThe Underground. You are The Dealer and he is The Pet. Are you both being controlled by the same person? Is it because of what you do atThe Underground?”

He closed his eyes and rubbed his face aggressively with his hands. “Ilaria. The more you know, the more danger you put yourself in.”

“I don’t care, goddammit!” I yelled, grabbing his wrists and yanking them down. “Why don’t you get it? You are my soulmate! Let’s try the reverse here. If I was the one that needed help, would you help me?”

“That’s not even the same thing. Of course, I would but—”

“No buts! I am involved in this, whether you like it or not. Working with me will make me safer because you know the ins and outs ofThe Undergroundbut believe me when I say I will be figuring this out with or without your help.”

“Jebote.You are a stubborn woman!”

“Oh, you have no idea. So what’s it to be? Are we doing this together? Or am I doing this alone?”

He turned and punched a tree trunk, denting the bark with his strength and causing the tree to shed some of its leaves. I tried not to be distracted by how fucking hot it was when he lost his temper.

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