Page 17 of Arrogant Bastard

Chapter Six

Black Widow

Cairo was supposed to be the end stage of a five-year-long operation to dismantle a powerful sex trafficking ring spanning the globe. The agency I worked for—an offshoot of an offshoot of a clandestine government organization nonthreateningly named Fallhurst Institute—got involved in the operation when they unearthed evidence of root-deep involvement of key political figures in over a dozen countries. The words international incident of fucked-up proportions were bandied around frequently, putting everyone in the agency on permanent tenterhooks.

It wasn’t surprising therefore that things started to go wrong almost immediately once the final team was put together.

Ted Milton despised me from the moment we met. A middle-aged old-school spook straight out of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, he was an unapologetic sexist pig who made no bones about the fact that he considered me a worthless slut for sleeping with my boss. The fact that Killian and I were supposed to be lovers as part of our cover didn’t mean a damn to him. It didn’t help that we made it blatantly clear that we were involved both on and off assignment.

Ted continued to actively despise me in the five months we worked together. Right until I saved his life on an op in Rome. Then he thawed to barely tolerating me. But not once did he fail to let me know how much he wished I wasn’t part of the team. And when we ultimately failed, he laid the blame for all of it at my feet.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t far off from the truth. “You think it was Ted?”

“Who gave you up?” Killian asks.

I nod.

Killian’s jaw clenches. “The thought crossed my mind. He hated your guts, and mine, but his whole life was dedicated to serving his country. That said, I get it. I would give up everything that means half a damn too, if it means protecting something I value. He may have been twisted enough to believe giving us up and getting us out of the way might protect Fallhurst and its agents in the long run.”

“So he may have thrown us under the bus for the greater good?” I know how fucked up life can be, so I’m not surprised that Ted is capable of this.

Killian shrugs and continues tapping on the keyboard. “Like I said, I know I’d throw the whole fucking world under a bus to have you, so yeah,” he states without taking his eyes off the screen.

This time my breath strangles for an entirely different reason. Before his words can seep into my blood and disarm me further, I shift my gaze to the screen. “Shane?” Unlike Ted, the possibility that we were betrayed by Shane makes my chest ache. So I’m relieved when Killian shakes his head.

“It’s not him.”

“Why? Because he worshipped you?” The waspish snap in my voice makes me cringe inside.

“Because he worshipped you.”

“Only because you were with me.” The analyst is…was gay. A typical bespectacled nerd who barely held himself together in Killian’s presence during briefings. His saving grace was that he didn’t hold a grudge against me because Killian was mine. At least not as far as I could tell. He’d been happy to bask in the glow of his idol’s magnificence no matter who Killian was with. I learned to live with it. Barely.

I stare at his photo now, struck by how young and innocent he looks. “How old was he?” I ask.

Killian sighs and stops typing. “Twenty-seven. Cairo was his first assignment. I was against him joining us in the first place. I recommended he not be placed in the field again after that. Obviously someone disagreed because they kept sending him out on ops.”

I thought I was inured against softer feelings, but I can’t seem to fight the sadness that wells up inside me. I close my eyes, regretting my momentary bite of resentment. “God.”

Firm hands grip mine. I open my eyes to see that Killian has moved his chair directly in front of me. He lifts my hands and kisses my knuckles, then each palm. I shouldn’t allow my senses to fire up like this. Not right now. But I can’t stop my breath from catching. From wishing for more of that contact.

“Now that you know what’s going on, you get why I can’t let you leave, don’t you?”

I get that that’s partly why. A huge remaining part of why I’m here is blazing at me in his eyes. But I don’t have the head space to deal with it right now. Without answering, I look back at the nearest screen, and the unfamiliar face. “Who’s the woman?”

His thumbs move to my wrists, sweeping back and forth over my pulse. It’s distracting as hell, but I try to breathe through it.

“Her name is Lisa Channing. She debriefed me. After you left.”

There’s a guardedness about him that spikes my antenna. “So she works for the Fallhurst Institute?”

A half shrug. “In a sense.”

“What does that mean?”

“She had the right clearance but she was an independent contractor of sorts. Also she was more of a shrink than anything else.”

I frown. “You spoke to a shrink, not your handler?”

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