Page 72 of Pleasure Payback

The bartender approached. ‘Want another?’

‘Yes.’ I paused, cleared my throat. ‘And a shot of your best whiskey for him too, on my tab.’

The bartender nodded. He returned with my drink, then, unable to stand the agony any longer, I turned and watched him slide a shot of whiskey towards Damian.

He stared into the amber liquid for a nerve-wracking stretch. Then ferocious hazel eyes pierced me from across the bar as the bartender slipped through the door and shut it behind him, leaving us alone. ‘There’s only one woman I trust to buy me a drink.’

My heart lurched wildly. ‘Why?’

‘Because she’s the only person in the world I trust implicitly. The one who helpedmelearn to trust again. Helped me accept a part of myself I thought I’d lost.’

My mouth twisted. ‘She sounds like a saint.’

His eyes locked on me, pleaded with me. ‘She is. A saint. A vixen. A sharp, intelligent businesswoman. Most of all, a compassionate human being who deserves nothing less than abject worship from a fool like me.’

I remained frozen, my shattered heart unable to pick itself up from the crater it’d fallen into weeks ago. Not even to acknowledge the pain rushing through his eyes.

‘Abject worship sounds...tedious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’ll be fun for a while. But then...what?’

‘Then she can have whatever she wants.’

‘What if she has an agenda?’

He grimaced, agony flashing across his face. ‘I’m learning that not every agenda is bad. Some of them are pursued with integrity and compassion as the end game. Mine going forward is to love, cherish and, yes, worship too.’ His eyes met mine, his gaze pleading. ‘If I’m given the chance.’

I shook my head. ‘I can’t.’

His jaw tightened. ‘God, don’t say that, Neve. I’ll do anything. Just don’t close the door on me. On us. I fucked up in France, I know I did. My plan was to propose an affiliation deal like the one you wanted with Cahill two years ago. I know I should’ve heard you out in Boston, maybe we could’ve worked something else out that didn’t involve jeopardising your company. Don’t get me wrong, that’s not why I was offering it in France. Simple truth is you’re a brilliant businesswoman, an asset I didn’t want to get away. And yes, a large part of it was that I was terrified of you walking away from me for good. But I want... Fuck, I’ll jump through whatever hoop you want so long as you consider giving me a chance.’

Shame lanced me. ‘You were right, Damian. I kinda had my agenda too.’

He shook his head. ‘You were reacting to what I did. I was a little too brutal with my assessment. You weren’t ready. But I could’ve framed the whole thing much better.’

‘I worked hard for everything in my life.Everything.I learned to keep quiet and make myself unobtrusive so I didn’t upset my mother when she was having one of her pity episodes. I fought for a relationship with my father after my mother drove him away and tried to keep us apart. And guess what, you were right. I hated failing at both but I still persevered with miserable results. My business was the only area I thrived in. So for a long time I hated you for turning Cahill against me. But looking back now, I’m glad you did. I would probably be bankrupt now or sold off in pieces. So, in a roundabout way, you saved me.’

He continued to look pained. ‘I hurt you. Attacked you to save myself the pain of hearing the truth. I know that’s not a great pedigree to align yourself with, but I’m selfish enough to hope that I can learn from you, Neve.’

‘Your pedigree doesn’t define you. I’ve learned the hard way that not everyone who can have children should. As much as it hurts, my mother is probably one of them. You can’t bring a child into the world only to turn around and blame it for everything that goes wrong in your life.’

‘Or in my case use it as a bargaining chip for money.’

We fell silent, absorbing our shared pain for a moment before he rose. ‘I don’t want to dwell on the past. The reason my rift with Gideon hurt so much was because we vowed that we would be different from our parents. That we would be better. You showed me that it was possible, that I could rise above the bitterness. I want to be that person, Neve. But only with you.’

My lungs flattened. ‘I... What are you saying?’

‘That I regressed into shitty behaviour that last day in France. I told myself it would be a pleasant surprise for you but I was desperately trying to find a way to hold onto you. I didn’t want our time together to end. I was hooked on you.’

‘Hooked?’

He ventured closer, until he was within reach. ‘Fuck it, okay, I was in love with you. I fell in love with you the day I walked into the pre-production meeting and you tore strips off me. Only I didn’t know it then. All I knew was that I wanted you in my life. The night I walked you home and you didn’t invite me in I knew I couldn’t live without you. You drew me when I didn’t want to be drawn. You reached inside and touched me deeply and I knew I’d never be the same again. I talked to Tyler and Sam this morning. I’ve withdrawn my consultancy deal. They’ve agreed to partner with you exclusively if that’s what you want.’

‘No. I don’t want.’

His forehead twitched. ‘What?’

‘I don’t want a deal that doesn’t include you.’

‘But...’

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