Page 54 of Her Every Fantasy

I swallowed, accepting some guilt. ‘Your responsibilities were pulling you in one direction and my parents were threatening to disown me if I did the show. I felt like I’d gone from having you and our little cocoon and even my family, broken as it was, to suddenly having only the modelling, and I was a little scared.’

If anything, Bryce looked even more bleak. ‘And you couldn’t tell me? You know how that makes me feel?’

I sighed. ‘Okay, I accept Paris was on me. Forgive me?’

He stared at me for a long moment, lips compressed, but when he exhaled some of the tension left his body. ‘Forgiven. But I disagree about that little cocoon you mentioned. Not after our second year at uni. Can you pinpoint a time when I didn’t have to share you with someone else? Let’s start with that guy—’ he clicked his fingers ‘—Neville. Then it was your manager and your agent, then Dan.’

‘Are you serious?Youtell me when you didn’t have some size-zero bimbo hanging off your arm, lapping up your every word, telling you how oh-so-brilliant you were? If I wasn’t meant to feel like a third wheel, it was only because I was more like a bloody fourth wheel!’ He started to frown. ‘Don’t you dare give me that look. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You had so many girls falling over themselves to get into your pants that you dated two at once, and discarded them just as quickly as they arrived on the scene!’

He set his barely touched plate and wine on the coffee table and raked his fingers through his hair. The look he speared me with both electrified and frightened me. It spoke to dark secrets and hanging onby a thread.

‘And why the hell did you think that was, rosebud? Why did I discard them on such a regular basis?’ he asked a little too quietly.

My fingers tightened around the glass and I wished I could down the wine. But I didn’t want to choke on the volatile emotions swirling through the room. And I really wanted to keep a clear head for this. ‘I hope you’re not about to make out like it was my fault.’

He leaned forward, eyes narrowed. ‘You think I’ve changed? You think you knew me then but don’t know me now? Take a moment and really think about it. What was the common theme running through our little circus right up until you hightailed it to Paris?’

It was my turn to frown. To cast my mind back to those turbulent years between new adulthood and beyond. The boys I casually dated when I knew I would never have Bryce. The pressures of youthful libidos. The inevitable walls I threw up. The sometimes veiled and sometimes blatant accusations. One in particular had stayed with me for months afterwards and every now and then, when Bryce crossed my mind, echoed in my head. But those words weren’t true. Whoever had said them... Colin Something-or-the-Other.

The way he hangs around you, you’d think he was hot for you or something...

Oh, God...he hadn’t been right. Had he?

‘You...’

‘Yes?’ he pushed. The mixture of anticipation and wariness on his face tripled my heartbeat. ‘What did I do, rosebud?’

‘You started dating when I did. And you broke things off almost immediately I did.’

‘Give me a few examples, let’s set the record straight properly.’

I swallowed, names coming alarmingly easily to me. ‘You started dating Darcy when I started seeing Neville and broke up with her the day after I...’

He nodded. ‘Who next?’

‘Rachel. You dumped her after your second date, right after my third date with Humph,’ I murmured.

He raised one eyebrow and waited.

‘Naomi. You were about to go out with her when I said I wouldn’t be seeing Zach again. You called and cancelled your date,’ I recounted, more than a little stunned.

Bryce exhaled long and hard, his eyes fierce. ‘And what does that tell you?’

My jaw dropped. ‘No.’

‘Yes,’ he insisted. ‘Yes, rosebud. I won’t allow you to deny it ever again.’

‘But...you...why...?’

He laughed, a scraping, charred sound. ‘You thought I was a vacuous arsehole who only cared about staying on the rugby team and dating groupies. And they weren’t,by the way. Some of those girls were pretty special. The only problem was they weren’t you. Whileyouwouldn’t even give me the time of day for six months after we first met.’

‘So? You kinda...were.’

‘Thanks for that. That does wonders for my manhood.’

‘Don’t change the subject. I found out later you weren’t, obviously, but that doesn’t explain why...’ Again, I couldn’t give voice to the words. Saying them out loud was dangerous. And awful. And heartbreaking. It meant I’d wasted...years...when I could...when we could... I swallowed and shook my head.

‘You made it plain we couldn’t be anything but friends. The possibility that I might want more never even occurred to you.’

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