Page 2 of In the Mouth of the Wolf

I attempted to swallow the lump forming in my throat, setting down the glass of wine with shaky hands as the blood drained from my face. “Yes, I am.”

“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Ms. Linden, but your father was brought in earlier today. It seems he suffered a stroke perhaps two or three days ago and was discovered unresponsive in his home. The doctors did everything they could, but…”

Mike popped his head into the living room, smiling and opening his mouth like he was about to say something funny until he noticed my expression.

Oliver continued a practiced speech about claiming the remains and other administrative tasks I needed to take care of as his next of kin, and I nodded along.

“I see. Thank you for calling me. I’ll… I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Mike rushed over, taking my pale cheeks in his hands. “Marlowe, what is it?”

I could barely register the words the man had said on the phone. I had just spent two weeks in Wisconsin handling my mom’s death – her funeral, her cremation, and cleaning out her house.

My eyes shifted over to the urns of my brother and mother on one of the built-in shelves next to the TV. Was there room for one more?

“My dad died. I have to go back to Wisconsin”

“Shoes and jackets off. Remove your liquids and electronics…”

It had taken me a few minutes to register the shock of hearing the news of my dad’s death, and in that time Mike had managed to book me on the next flight to northern Wisconsin, paying for the exorbitantly priced ticket without a thought.

Then he had helped me pack my suitcase and had taken me to the airport, waiting with me until I needed to head through security.

“I wish I could come with you,” he said as we hugged, his face nestled deep in my neck, breathing me in. “But Jen and I have that project at work that was technically due yesterday. I can join you in a few days if you need me, okay?”

The wound in my heart that had only just started to heal after my mom’s death reopened with a vengeance, and it felt like I was about to bleed out right in the middle of SFO. I had thought while cleaning out my mom’s old house that I could try to get in touch with my dad at some point in the future. He hadn’t come to Ezra’s funeral, and I hadn’t even thought to invite him to mom’s, but he was all I had left. Now I would never know him, never know why he had left us.

But I couldn’t submit to the pain and grief just yet – I needed to get to my destination first. I kissed Mike good-bye and got in line while my brain went into autopilot, allowing me to function just enough to make it to the gate and onto the plane.

Somehow, I managed to handle my layover in Minneapolis as well and arrived at the Chippewa Valley Regional Airport in Eau Claire, Wisconsin early the next morning. The airport was desolate, but at least one of the cafes was open.

I bought one of their seasonal drinks, then made my way to the rental car desk, pulling up the reservation Mike had also made for me. He’d even sent me a list of hotels, just in case I couldn’t or didn’t want to stay at my dad’s place while I was here.

As I waited for the attendant to finish all my paperwork, my phone alarm beeped, reminding me to take my medicine.

Back in high school I had had the worst periods and PMS, so my mom had helped me find a special birth control that kept me feeling sane. The brand wasn’t found in most pharmacies, so she had been sending it to me like clockwork every three months.

Something else I now had to figure out how to manage on my own, I realized bitterly.

But as I dug through my purse, they were nowhere to be found. In all the rush and commotion, I must have forgotten to pack them.

Shit. Now I had to deal with all this while turning into a weird, weepy, hormonal mess?

Terrific.

I got in my rental car and headed straight towards the hospital, the address punched into my GPS, planning on stopping by their pharmacy after dealing with my dad. If they didn’t carry the pills, at least they could point me in the right direction. But would my insurance even cover it? Considering it was so hard to find, it must have been expensive.

I gritted my teeth as I turned the defrost setting on to clear the foggy windshield, my fingers already numb from the cold. At least the roads were dry and it hadn’t snowed up here yet. I wasn’t sure I remembered how to drive in less-than-ideal conditions.

Once I got on the highway, I glumly gazed out over the bleak landscape.

Being home used to refresh me, but the first thing I now noticed was how dead everything looked.

I already missed the golden hills, bright blue skies, and palm trees of California. Wisconsin had its own beauty, of course, but this time of year always seemed too melancholy. Everything was brown and lifeless, and the barren trees only accentuated the flat, endless gray horizon.

It was still pretty early when I arrived at the hospital, and the receptionist at the front desk let me know the bereavement counselor would be in soon to meet with me. I took a seat in the lobby, exhausted from the trip and numb from the cold and the loss.

My whole family was gone now. Every single one of them.

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