Page 122 of Wicked Savage

Finishing up the meeting at the company, I make my way toward the elevator, my mind already drifting, consumed by thoughts of Dinara. I wonder where she is right now. What she’s doing. If she’s thought about me at all. It’s like a curse—the way she haunts me, never really leaving, even though she’s been gone for years.

Even after all this time, the memories of her remain as vivid as ever. The way she laughed, the way her eyes softened whenever she looked at me, as if I was her entire world. I can still feel it all, even though it feels like a lifetime ago.

A life I destroyed.

I could’ve loved her. Ishould’veloved her. I should’ve fought for her when I had the chance.

But now it’s too late. I’ve spent all this time searching for something I lost, and in the end, I know I’m the one to blame.

“We’re invited to a party at Konstantin’s in a few days.” Tynan steps in front of me, blocking my path.

I barely slow down.

“That’s great. Have fun,” I mutter, already thinking about how much I don’t want to be there.

After Konstantin told me she didn’t want me to know where she was, it broke me.

She was really gone. I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me. I wish I could undo it, but there is no second chance.

“We’re all going.” Tynan’s voice cuts through the fog of my thoughts, irritating me even more.

I stop in place, tension running through my shoulders. The last place I want to be is in a room full of Marinovs. There’s only one Marinov I ever want to see, and she’s not here anymore. The thought hits me like a gut punch, sharp and relentless. Fuck knows if she’ll ever come back, or if she even wants to. The slicing pain settles deep in my chest, familiar and unforgiving.

“The hell I am.”

His hand lands firmly on my shoulder, preventing me from leaving. I exhale sharply, frustration coiling in my chest like a vise.

“This is business, Cillian. We go because we have to. No one said you have to like it, but you’re going, and you’re going with a date.”

I let out a dry, humorless chuckle. “That was almost funny.”

His expression doesn’t waver, not a single crack in his steely demeanor. “Who said I was joking?”

A mix of irritation and disbelief spreads through me. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“The Italian families. They’ll be there too. Adriano Scutari has a sister, Lucia. She likes you. He wants you to marry her.”

I burst out laughing at first, but it dies quickly, my mouth flattening into a thin line. “Tell him I’m not interested.”

Adriano runs the Grazia family. Well-liked and respected. But I don’t want his sister. Or any woman for that matter.

All I want is her. There’s been no one since Dinara, and I’d like to keep it that way.

“You can tell him yourself at the party.” Tynan doesn’t flinch.

Between the Russians pushing for a marriage alliance, the last thing I need is pressure from the Italians, too.

I don’t say anything else as I make my way toward the exit instead, desperate to clear my head, desperate to stop thinking about Dinara. About everything I’ve lost.

Tynan calls after me, just loud enough to catch my attention. “You’re forty, Cillian. It’s time to start thinking about having a family.”

I freeze, my back still turned to him, and let out a bitter laugh. “Just because you fell in love with Elara doesn’t mean we all want that.”

“You did back then.”

I don’t respond. There’s nothing to say.

The truth is, I don’t want a family. Not with Lucia Scutari or anyone else. What I want—what I’ve always wanted—is something I can never have.

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