Page 194 of Wicked Savage

Cillian stands behind me, a quiet, steady presence—giving me the space to grieve, but letting me know I’m not alone. His warmth is a comfort against the cold reality that my brother is gone.

“I should have protected you better,” I cry. “I should’ve known. Maybe if I had paid more attention…”

“Dinara…” Cillian kneels beside me and his hand finds mine, strong and grounding. “You can’t do that to yourself. You did everything you could.”

I shake my head, the lump in my throat nearly unbearable. “It wasn’t enough.”

He pulls me into his arms, holding me tightly as I let the tears fall, dampening his shirt. “You can’t spend forever thinking about what you should’ve done. It won’t bring him back, baby. All you can do is keep loving him and remembering him.”

I clutch on to him, his touch anchoring me in a way I desperately need. He’s been my rock these past few weeks. Patient, understanding, never pushing me to move on before I’m ready. He’s just here, and that’s what I need the most.

Riding with him has helped too. The horses have been like therapy, and he takes me every chance we get. Being out in the open, feeling the wind, the movement…it’s the only time I can forget, even just for a moment.

“Thank you,” I tell him.

And I know I don’t need to explain, because he understands.

Cillian brushes a strand of hair from my face. “Always.”

I manage a small smile, the first real one today.

“You’re a pretty decent husband.” Tears swim in my eyes.

He smirks. “I’d better be, or Fia would kill me.”

A soft laugh escapes me, and it feels good to laugh.

He leans forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead, and I drop my head against his chest, glancing at the grave one last time. Then, because I know I have to, I let Cillian pull me to my feet. It hurts to leave, but with his hand in mine, the weight on my chest doesn’t feel quite as crushing.

We walk back to the car in silence, but just before he opens the door, something inside me shifts.

“Wait.”

He stills instantly. “You okay?”

His brows pull in, concern etched into every line of his face.

I nod, but my heart is hammering now, every beat carrying the words I’ve wanted to say. But with everything going on, my brother’s death, both of us recovering from our injuries, I just…I don’t know, I felt I needed to wait.

But in this moment, it’s all I can think about.

My fingers graze the stubble along his jaw, my gaze searching his, drinking him in. He’s been everything I’ve always needed, everything I never thought I’d have.

His eyes grow heavy-lidded as I rise on my toes, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth. He doesn’t move, doesn’t rush, just lets me take what I need.

“I love you, Cillian Quinn. I’ve loved you from the moment I met you.”

He inhales sharply, clasping a palm around my nape, his jaw clenching as if trying to rein himself in.

“I’ve waited so damn long to hear you say that.” His voice is rough, thick with something deep and unshakable. “And now I’m never gonna get enough.”

“It’s a good thing I don’t plan to ever let you forget it.”

With a growl, his mouth slants to mine, fierce and consuming, and I surrender to him completely.

Maybe I’ll never stop hurting. Maybe this loss will never fade. But I don’t have to go through it alone.

Because Cillian will always be right beside me.

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