Page 34 of Wicked Savage

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DINARA

You ARE perfect.

Those words swim in my head, playing on repeat. I’ve never quite felt perfect, always finding fault somewhere. I’ve never been the smartest or the prettiest in the room. Sometimes I don’t know when to keep my mouth shut, like when my father…

Those thoughts send an ache to my chest. I should’ve done something else. I should’ve called Konstantin and asked for help instead of going into the room and trying to help her myself. What did that even accomplish? Nothing.

I shake my head, frustrated with myself for thinking about him again. It’s why I gave Cillian my mother’s last name, something I’ve always done. The thought of being tied to my father makes me sick. Konstantin gets it and hasn’t pushed me on it. He knows how broken I was after my mother’s death—though, of course, we never spoke of it.

In this family, we just accept things. Everything…except betrayal. That, of course, can’t be tolerated. But murder? Perfectly fine. Makes sense, right?

As I pick up my coffee at the breakfast table, my mind drifts back to the conversation with Cillian, my fingers itching to pick up that phone again and read over our exchange.

“What’s got you smiling this morning?” Konstantin pulls me from my thoughts, taking a bite of his blin.

Tatiana glances at me with a curious look. Was I really smiling that much?

“Nothing. Just thinking about something funny Natalia said.”

Every time I lie, I worry Konstantin will see right through me, but he doesn’t press the issue and goes back to his breakfast.

I still don’t know how I’ll make things work with Cillian. If the date goes well and we continue to see one another, I’ll have to be honest with Konstantin. Maybe I should just tell him. I have no idea what the right answer is.

“And you, Tatiana?” He shifts his attention to my sister, while Gregory stuffs half of a blin into his mouth. “Any plans today?”

“My friends invited me to see a movie later today. Can I go?” Tatiana cuts into a piece of her toast, the table filled with all the food we could ever want.

“Of course you can. The driver will take you where you want to go, and Anatoly will go with you.”

“Awesome! Thanks.” Her grin grows.

She’s completely used to having a bodyguard, like we all are. Our protection is of utmost priority to Konstantin, especially with our father around.

We continue our breakfast while my mind returns to Cillian, thinking of last night and the fact that I’m no longer a virgin. I still can’t believe I did that. But I have no regrets. In fact, I can’t wait to see him soon so we can do that all over again.

As my cousin glances at me every now and then, I start to wonder if he knows something. Then again, he seems to know everything, so keeping secrets from him isn't exactly the smartest move.

I push aside the uneasy feeling in my gut, and once we're finished, Tatiana and Gregory are the first to excuse themselves, leaving the grand sitting room.

“Dinara.” That commanding baritone stops me dead in my tracks just as I rise to my feet.

Shit. He knows.

Of course he does, you dumbass!

He’s gonna tell me to stop talking to Cillian.

“Yes?” I clear my throat and offer a small smile, trying to mask the unease brewing inside me.

“Are you alright?” His dark brows draw together, and a tight knot forms in my stomach as I settle back down.

“Yes, of course.”

Coffee. I need more coffee. Or alcohol. Yes, definitely alcohol.

“I never got to ask you how the party was last night. Any problems I need to concern myself with?”

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