Page 71 of Wicked Savage

But even as the venom fills me, I want it. She’s a craving. A need.

One that I can’t let myself have. Not now. Not ever.

I’ll never fall in love with the woman whose family broke mine.

She glances up as she presses the napkin on my wound, and my jaw clenches. I want her to continue touching me even while I hate myself for needing her so damn bad.

“Dinara…why?” I don’t even know what the hell I’m asking.

Why didn’t you tell me?

Why the fuck do you have to be a damn Marinov?

Tears spill down her cheeks, and with each drop, my heart breaks more.

“I found out a few days ago.” Her hands tremble as she wipes away her tears. “Konstantin told me everything. Who you are. What his father did. And I…I planned to tell you after dinner.” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “I’m so sorry, Cillian. I can’t—” She chokes on a sob, her words faltering. “I can’t imagine, but I can because my father… My father killed my mother. Right in front of me. And I couldn’t stop it. I still hear it. Every night.”

Her words break me in ways I didn’t think were possible. She knows. She understands. But that doesn’t make this any easier. It doesn't make her family’s betrayal any less real.

“I'm so sorry, baby.” My hand cups her face, forcing her eyes to meet mine, the weight of her sadness dragging me deeper into despair. “I'm so damn sorry.”

I tug my hand away, and I see it: her soul shattering right in front of me. And it's all my fault. The agony in her face twists the knife even deeper.

She presses her hand to my chest, a desperate plea in her eyes. “I never meant to hurt you, Cillian. I swear.”

She doesn’t get it, does she?

“It doesn’t matter.” Every syllable is a tortured rasp. “Your uncle… He’s the reason my mother is dead. Don’t you get it? I can’t be with you. I can’t love you, not when your family destroyed mine.”

I can’t believe this is fucking happening.

Her face crumples, her lips trembling.

“Please don’t walk away from me,” she whispers, breaking into pieces. “We can figure it out. Together.”

“You think I want to?!” I roar, pushing her up against the wall.

My hand circles around her throat, but not enough to hurt her. It’s to keep me from falling apart. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.

“You think Iwantto leave you? The thought of never seeing you again, of losing you for good… It’s killing me, Dinara. But you know what kills me the most?” The pain’s so thick I can barely speak.

Her breath catches, and I know she feels it too—the pull between us.

But it’s not enough.

“Knowing that I could fall in love with the woman who killed my mother.”

“I…I didn’t.” She shakes her head.

“You might as well have.” I draw in closer, my lips stroking hers, wanting her so damn much. “Every time I look at you, I’ll remember her screams. The way she begged. The way she died so brutally while I couldn’t save her.”

The words are like a knife. Silently, she cries, and every part of me continues to break.

“Tell me,” I choke, my throat closing. “How would you feel if my family killed your mother? Could you ever be with me? Could you lie beside me every night knowingthat?”

She doesn’t answer.

“I’m sorry, Dinara. But I just…I can’t.” As I step back, the words rip me apart. “I’m sorry.”