Page 73 of Wicked Savage

“I don’t want to eat,” I manage to say.

I can’t even remember how to breathe right now. My body is so heavy with grief that I’m barely aware of anything else.

She sighs beside me and then, without saying a word, she shifts, lying next to me in a protective curl. She pulls me into her, her arms surrounding me like a shield, her warmth seeping into my frozen soul.

“He doesn’t deserve you. Fuck that guy, okay? None of this is your fault.”

I bury my face in her shoulder and cry harder. She holds me tighter, but nothing changes the fact that he just shattered everything we could’ve had into pieces.

“Crap.” She laughs weakly. “I thought I was making you feel better.”

“No, it’s not you,” I sniffle. “I just miss him. I miss him so much, and I don’t understand why this is happening.” I clench my comforter, clutching at it like it’s the only thing holding me together. “Why the hell did the universe mess with us this way?”

Natalia doesn’t answer immediately. She doesn’t need to. She just holds me, her fingers gently stroking my hair, steadying me.

“I don’t know, but I swear you’ll be okay. You’ll meet someone who deserves you. Someone who sees you for everything you are,everything youdeserve.If he can’t see past what happened when it wasn’t even your fault, then he sucks. And I mean that.”

I shake my head, the ache in my chest only intensifying. “But he didn’t suck. That’s the problem. He was…good. He was everything I wanted, and I thought we could make it through. I really thought…” I falter, a hollow laugh escaping me. “I really thought he was the one. That maybe I was enough.”

Her body sags beside me, her worry palpable as she tries to find the right words. “You’ve gotta just forget him.”

I nod, squeezing my arms tighter around her. “I know. But how do you just...forget someone like that? Someone you thought you had a future with. How am I just supposed to erase him from my life?”

“You’re right,” she says gently. “But you can’t let it eat you alive either. Don’t let him take more from you than he already has.”

Before I can respond, my phone vibrates on the bed beside me and a rush of hope floods my chest. I sit up quickly—hoping, praying it’s him. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he’s realized what he’s done.

My fingers tremble as I reach for the phone, but Natalia snatches it from my hands before I can even check.

“Let me see,” she says, low but sharp.

She glances down at the screen and shakes her head. “Not him.”

Disappointment hits me but I hide it.

“Too bad, because I was looking forward to telling him to go fuck himself.” She glares at the screen like she hopes he calls.

With my eyes still raw, I manage a weak smile. “As much as I’d love for you to do that, I’m capable of telling him myself.”

She raises a brow, her expression skeptical. “Right now, you look like you’d jump right back in if he asked you to.”

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat almost choking me. “Well, why not?” I whisper. “It’s not like he cheated or anything. His mom was murdered, for God’s sake. Doesn’t he get a pass for not being sure about things?”

“No.” Her grip on my arm tightens. “He doesn’t get a pass. Not from me, and not from you. If he can just leave you like this, without even trying to fight for you, then he’s not the guy you thought he was, and you need to let him go.”

Despite the tears still streaming down my face, I manage a small smile. “Fine. We won’t give him a pass, then.”

“That’s my girl.” She smiles softly at me, but it’s tinged with sadness. “Now, how about you get cleaned up and we hit the sauna? Sonya said she can make us drinks too, if you’d rather drown in liquor instead.”

The thought of the sauna sounds like a kind of sweet release—letting the heat wrap around me, suffocating the sorrow until it’s just a distant memory.

“Okay.” I let out a heavy sigh. “I want to be obliterated. Just…don’t let me drown, okay?”

“I promise.” Her hand’s warm on my back, steady and sure.

And for the first time since he walked out that door, I feel like maybe, just maybe, I’ll survive this.

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