Page 14 of Honey's Special Roux

“Baby? Don’t go confusing me more with these pet names.”

“Okay. Say what’s on yo’ chest,Honey.”

She rolled her eyes, even though a ghost of a smile tugged at her lips. She let out a huff and walked over to me. She grabbed the ball and dribbled it a few times before she pulled up and followed through with a perfect shot into the hoop.

“I like you, Marquise. I’d been trying to pretend I wasn’t attracted to you, but I was since the day you moved in. The crazy thing is, I tried to convince myself you weren’t my type because of a promise I made to my grandmother.”

She passed me the ball. I dribbled between my legs and around my back before I propped it under my arm and gave her my full attention.

“Come ride with me.”

“Really? Right now?”

“Yeah. Car rides are where I can think the best. I want to listen and understand your feelings.”

She smiled. “Okay.”

I tossed the ball onto the porch before I walked over to my car and got in. A few moments later, she got in too. I pulled out onto the main road and kept the radio on low.

“You like me, and I ain’t gon’ lie… I like yo’ annoying ass too.” I replied to her words from earlier.

“Annoying?”

“You’re like a pretty plague. Your face, your scent, and your lips been on my mind for a while. Not on no crazy shit, but you plague my thoughts and my dreams.”

“So, would you be my boyfriend, or do you only want sex? Like I said, I’m not trying to give you my virginity anytime soon.”

I merged onto the highway and switched lanes until I could go eighty-five miles per hour.What was I doing with this girl? How had shit changed so drastically?

“I don’t want your virginity, Honey.”

She looked down at her hands. “I understand.”

“I don’t want your virginity. I want your heart and your soul, but a nigga like me ain’t the type who deserves all that.”

Those bright, twinkling eyes looked up at me. “Why do you say that?”

“Because you deserve more.”

“Marquise,” she whined.

“Don’t do that, baby.”

She grabbed my free hand and rubbed my knuckles. I hated being touched. I hated when people made me confront my feelings. I hated getting attached to people. All the things I hated were Honey personified, yet I wanted to be around her. She made me do shit outside of my norm.

A few weeks ago when we smoked, I asked for consent. I didn’t want to push her too far while she was high. I could get pussy on my own regardless, so I didn’t have to drug anyone to give me some. Plus, I would have hated myself if she woke up the next day and hated me for it.

It was shit like that…

Why did I give a fuck what Honey thought about me? Months ago, she was an annoying little girl. Now she was someone I looked forward to seeing. The contrast between how I treated others and how I treated her made me feel like God put her in my life to save me.

“Here you go throwing around that baby word again. Marquise, why don’t you think you are enough?”

I gripped the steering wheel tighter. Who needed a therapist when Honey was here to make me confront shit I wanted to keep buried in the back of my mind?

“You really don’t want to get caught up with a nigga like me, baby. I’m a troubled person. Everyone I love ends up dead or hurt.” The confession made me feel like a drop of water in the sea—useless.

I exited the highway and turned down a familiar street. Honey rubbed my knuckles and smiled at me. She showed all her perfect white teeth.

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