Page 41 of Honey's Special Roux

Would my pregnancy journey be easy or hard? Would I deal with postpartum depression? Would I be able to produce enough milk to keep my baby fed? Would the baby need formula?

My irrational questions paused when the sound of the front door broke me away from my thoughts. The butterflies swarmed my stomach as I sauntered into the main hallway. The nervous smile shifted into a look of pure horror as I took in the man standing in the hallway.

“Marquise?” I asked in bewilderment.

“Hey,” he replied. He lifted his busted lip into what was supposed to be a smile but resembled a grimace more. It looked like it hurt for him to stand.

I didn’t want to touch him and risk aggravating any of his wounds or bruises, so I stayed a few steps away from him and frowned. “What happened?”

“I did what I thought would be best for us.” Each word sounded like it hurt him to speak.

“What do you mean? Well… Let’s tend to your wounds first. You can tell me what you mean by that after I’ve cleaned you up. Dinner might be a little cold, but I can warm our plates up after I care for you.”

I interlocked our fingers and made our way up to the main bedroom. We went into the bathroom, and I ran him a hot bubble bath. While the tub filled up, I helped him undress. Purple, red, and black bruises adorned his light skin. The internal bleeding created a muddy appearance underneath his tattooed body.

“Jesus…” I lightly brushed my fingers along his rib cage, which resulted in a soft wince.

“Sorry.” I snatched my hand back, afraid to touch my man.

It was clear I couldn’t tell him about the baby yet. Not when he could barely stand the touch of someone else. This was a sign to hold off for a day or two… maybe longer.

While he stood naked in the bathroom, I wet a few washcloths with hot water to wipe away the blood on his face. I dapped at his busted lip gently and felt my heart ache when he flinched a few times.

“I don’t like to see you like this, Marquise.”

“I know, baby. I know.”

He got in the tub, and I let him soak for a few moments while I sat on the toilet and looked at him with gentle eyes.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I went to Uncle Merlot and told him I wanted out of the business.”

My jaw dropped. “What?”

“Yeah. You know he’s an old-school nigga. The rule of the business is blood in, blood out. It was me versus twenty mothafuckas. I held my own, though.”

“I don’t know what to say…”

There were too many emotions running through my mind. He’d done what I’d been begging him to do: quit the business. He could get a real job and live without fear of getting arrested. We could have a normal family.

Relief washed over me like a warm blanket in the wintertime. He’d done what he had to do for the child he didn’t even know I was carrying.God, thank you for guiding him in the right direction.

“Look, I’m gon’ figure my shit out. I’m going to get a job and really show you the type of man I can be. I want to be a man you’d be proud to have on your arm when you’re accepting those awards in the future.”

I giggled. “I love that, but you need to do all of this foryou. I don’t want you to resent me for changes in your life. I want you to be proud of the man you see in the mirror because it’s who you naturally want to be.”

“Fa sho. I’ll do it for the both of us.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the tub.

Things were going to be all right with us. Tonight wasn’t the night to reveal my pregnancy. Instead, I’d wait a few weeks while we both got used to our new normal.

Weekslater

“Good morning, Miss Janie.”

I greeted the elder woman with a big smile. She looked me up and down with narrowed eyes. She hadn’t been a fan of me, no matter how much Honey tried to convince her I was a good man.

“Good morning, Marquise. What do I owe the pleasure of you stopping by?” she asked with her arms crossed against her chest.

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