Page 11 of Praise Me: Soldier

I’m growing drenched.

On the train. With this man I just met and this is so far out of my comfort zone, it isn’t even funny. I need to get a hold of the situation. I need it to make sense until I can categorize what I’m feeling for Theo. “I…think so, y—”

He cups a hand over my mouth. “On second thought, don’t answer that. I’m getting close to making a mess again.” He bares his teeth against my ear. “Jesus Christ, woman, the effect you have on me should be illegal.”

“Public indecency?” I half gasp, half laugh. “Pretty sure it is illegal.”

“Lock me up.” He half-grins. “As long as you’re locked in with me.”

Scary. So scary the way my heart elevates into my mouth.Set parameters. Make it make sense. Come back down to earth.Like, what if I’m being love bombed and I’m too experienced to recognize it? What if I’m being completely naïve and the growing bond and deepening physical connection I feel for this man is a bad thing?

“Um…”

“Hmm.”

“What I was going to say is…I have this presentation on Friday and maybe, I don’t know, maybe you could help me? You’re so good at getting your point across and this-this confidence you have in me is a little contagious. And I sort of need that?”

He takes hold of both sides of my face and looks me in the eye. “I’ll do whatever you need me to do, July.”

“Just be you…around me,” I say, meaning it. “And in exchange, I’ll…”

His eyebrows knit together. “You’ll what?”

I lower my voice and speak directly against his ear. “Well. You can only get…relief. With me. Right?” My face is on fire, but I keep going, knowing he won’t judge my idea. And honestly, I want this so badly, my desire gives me the final push I need to speak up. I enjoy being the only woman Theo’s body responds to. Ienjoybeing his wonder drug. I’ve never been that important to anyone. I like how his praise makes me feel. Powerful. Unique. Alive. “I’ll help you get that relief. When you need it.” I pull back to find his eyes have gone molten. “Anytime you need it.”

He's suddenly breathing like he’s run a thousand city blocks. “Starting tonight?”

I take the leap. “Starting tonight.”

CHAPTERFIVE

Theo

I don’t knowwhat I did right in this life to deserve a shot with July, but I’m too worked up to think about the whys and wherefores too hard. We’re standing in front of her apartment door, her fingers trembling slightly as she turns her keys in the lock. My hands are on her hips, tracing her curves with my palms, because I can’t stop touching her.

It’s nothing short of compulsion.

And I’m going to be honest with myself, I shouldn’t be following this nervous virgin into her home. She isn’t ready to fuck me. But my need to fuck her is out of control. I’ve flown straight past the point of desperate. When I told her I can get off without being inside of her, I meant it. Hell, I’ve proven that. There’s a war drum beating inside of me, though, the tempo increasing steadily, calling me to engage my enemy.

That enemy is hunger.

Hunger that has been suppressed way too long.

Until her.

Now, I stand just inside the door, watching her flit around, picking up discarded coffee mugs, tidying her already pristine apartment. It’s all blues and silvers and plush rugs, big, comfortable-looking pillows and stacks of books on antique shelves. It’s a magical place that suits the magical girl who made my blood start flowing again. It’s sweet. It’s a sanctuary. And all I want to do is drag her to the ground and hike up her skirt.

Control.

Find some control.

I could so easily ruin this.

Don’t ruin this.

“So, um…” She stands in front of the couch, wringing her hands. “Do you want to sit down?”

I wrestle back the dishonorable impulse to throw her over my shoulder, stride to the bedroom probably located at the end of the short hallway and take what I need so badly. Take what she hasn’t offered me yet.That’s not the man you used to be. Don’t prove right the people who treated you like an animal by becoming one. Somehow, I manage to hold off the urge and go closer, joining her in front of the couch. I sit down slowly, concentrating on keeping my hands to myself. Concentrating on not slaking myself.

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