Page 119 of Roommate's Guide to Love

“Good,” I say, rubbing my hands together. “Because we’re about to get our little girl for good.”

guide to love rule #138

Don’t fuck with millennial parents.

They were raised on

“Knuck If You Buck” and Four Locos.

34

quinn

I feellike I’ve evolved in my pranks and stunts over the years.

While many of them in school were meant for laughs, more than a few were targeted at people who deserved to have bad shit happen to them.

And no one deserves to have bad shit happen to them more than Bonnie.

“When’s she going to get here?” Porter asks as he paces around the bar.

“She’s going to make us wait,” I say. “You know, make a grand entrance.”

I realize as I say those words that’s the mantra I live by. Note to self: start arriving early to not be like Bonnie.

“Are you sure this is going to work?”

I want to lie and say of course, but even I don’t know if this one is going to go smoothly. There are a lot of moving parts, and most of them hinge on how Bonnie reacts. I’ve only been able to pull off one highly timed, very coordinated prank once in my life—those fireworks were a sight to see—and I don’t know if I can do it again.

“Even if it doesn’t, we have four contingency plans,” Logan reassures him. “Plus, I think I’m going to play an excellent lawyer.”

Did I ask my new brother-in-law to cosplay a lawyer so Bonnie would think everything is on the up-and-up? Yes.

Was Simon jealous that it wasn’t him? Extremely.

But, he had plenty to do in this scheme of mine to work. And in fact, he had one of the biggest roles—get with one of his lawyer friends and draw up the paperwork for both Bonnie and Missy.

Yes, part of my plan was finding and tracking down Missy in seven days.

Unfortunately, as of right now with Bonnie only minutes away, we haven’t been able to track her down.

So it’s on to Plan B. Which is fine. Plan A was boring. This one is a little more…my style.

“I still don’t get why Logan gets to be the lawyer,” Simon pouts. “I can say legal words. ‘Objection!’ ’Cause for dismissal!’ ‘I want the truth!’”

We all just shake our heads. “Because, like I’ve said, we don’t know who Bonnie still talks to in this town. Or what she’s figured out since she’s been here. But what we do know is that she has no clue who Logan is. We just have to hope she hasn’t seen him on a magazine cover.”

Plus, Logan’s checkbook is part of Plan B, C, and E. I love my brother, and he’s not hurting in the money department, but he’s not a billionaire. And Logan was happy to help, and even pay off Bonnie if necessary. I believe his words were, “it makes me feel like I’m part of the family.”

“Okay, here we are,” Ainsley says, scaring me as she sprints into the bar, huffing and puffing as she waves an envelope. “Sorry I’m running late.”

I look at my smartwatch, and yes, Ainsley is running more on my time than her normal twenty minutes early. “You’re fine. She’s not here yet. Is everything okay?”

“What? Yeah. You know. Nashville traffic. A real pain at five o’clock. But I got the papers, so we’re set.”

I look to Porter, then to Logan and Simon. Everyone’s eyes are saying the same: Something’s up with Ainsley.

“You good, sis?” I ask.

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