Page 114 of If I Never Met You

She slid the bolt. THANK GOD, and, OH NO.

She opened the door: he was drenched, water running from hairline down his face, coat wrapped round himself like a dressing gown. The clematis over the porch had a small waterfall pouring from it.

‘Hello,’ he said.

‘Hi.’

A short pause, Laurie’s pulse still thundering in her ears.

‘Do you want to come in?’

‘It’d be better than being out here.’

She stood back as he brushed past, soaked enough that he left a wet streak on her dress.

‘Do you want a towel or something?’ Laurie followed him into the front room trying to keep her voice even, trying to conceal how jittery she was.

‘Yeah, if I can?’

Laurie ran upstairs and grabbed one from the bathroom rail. She handed it to Jamie, who patted his face and hair ineffectually.

‘Take the coat off and I’ll stick it on the radiator,’ Laurie said, trying not to notice the wet white shirt underneath.

‘Lovely house,’ he said, glancing round.

‘Thank you, I’m still paying for it,’ Laurie said, smiling. ‘Maybe in more than one way.’

‘It looks exactly like the one on that Oasis album cover.’

‘Ha. Yep. Not entirely unintentional. Maybe I have some of my father in me after all.’

They smiled at each other. Laurie took the towel back and held it over her arms, a small barrier. There was an excruciating silence.

‘Did you know they wanted cans of Red Stripe on that album cover, instead of the red wine, but they weren’t allowed the product placement?’

Stop wittering,Laurie!And he’s turned up on your doorstep, it’s for him to announce his business and fill awkward pauses.I am scared about what he’s going to say.

‘I didn’t know that. Are you some sort of an Oasis superfan?’

‘No! I liked that … décor.’

Jamie gazed at the floor.

‘I’m sorry to turn up like this. I’m sorry I shouted at you. Only, I’ve been turning it over and over in my head. I need to know why you kissed that bloke. I can’t work it out at all.’

Laurie took a shaky breath.

‘Can’t I have kissed him for the reason anyone kisses someone, when knee deep in cheap plonk at a Christmas party?’

‘Number one, he was a right dozy twat. Number two, if it was to make your ex jealous, he wasn’t witnessing it. Number three, it contravened the agreement we made, so you were taking a risk. Number four, fucking kilt. There are four compelling reasons for not kissing Angus from Experian.’

‘… You know when you want to do something totally out of character? The fact I’d never kiss someone like that ordo something like that. That was why. It was spontaneous stupidity. That was all.’

Jamie looked at her from under his brow, the muscles in his jaw visibly clenching.

‘OK. I didn’t ask exactly what I wanted to ask. What I really meant is: why did you kiss him, and not me? It seems to me that if you take a Fake Boyfriend to a party, and you’re going to do some meaningless copping off, you probably would do it with the Fake Boyfriend. I know we’re in an unusual situation and a lawyer should be able to cite precedent, and I can’t, but, you know …’

Laurie folded her arms, play-acting insouciance when she was in a state of excited terror.

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