Page 126 of If I Never Met You

Laurie wasn’t daunted by Christmas Day alone, not one bit. She was going to dress up, only for herself, make a giant lunch, only for herself, and share some smoked salmon with Colin Fur. Finding out she could manage on her own was great.

She didn’t mind the time off work, either. It had been wild lately. After Jamie’s sacking on Friday, Monday had felt like a peculiar limbo period where she had no idea what her status was. In the end, she took the initiative and asked to see Mr Salter, late on Monday afternoon. He said yes, heandMr Rowson would see her, suggesting an unprecedented both-partner bollocking designed to strike fear into her heart.

Laurie went in with armour, however. She knew how strong she was. She’d lost Dan, and coped, she’d lost Jamie, and coped. She’d drawn a final line with her dad, and coped. And if she lost her job, she’d cope.

So much of her life had been about being scared of not being wanted by people. If the news was that this law firm no longer wanted her, well fine. Plenty of others would.

She’d spoken honestly about the manner of Dan’s leaving,the devastation she’d been in, and how seriously she took her responsibilities.

‘In conclusion, I badly regret the “relationship”’ – she made air quote marks. She still couldn’t believe the way it had been fake, real, then fake again, – ‘with Jamie Carter, but I was not my usual or best self when I made that decision. Given he didn’t get the partnership and has left, it seems sensible to put it behind us. I feel as if I’m on the back foot now. I like working here and will look elsewhere for employment if you think it’s necessary, but I’d rather stay.’

Salter and Rowson boggled at her confidence.

‘We don’t want you to leave, Ms Watkinson,’ Salter said, though from Rowson’s expression she thought he might’ve considered it. ‘I would like to know this, however. Why were you helping Jamie Carter to a partnership, rather than applying for it yourself?’

‘Oh …’ Laurie was stunned. ‘I suppose I’m content doing what I am. I didn’t think I was partner material to be honest.’

That’s a shame, as I would like you to apply for it in the New Year,’ Mr Salter said. ‘I was thinking of asking you to put yourself forward anyway. The sangfroid with which you’ve dealt with this, despite your mistakes, has convinced me. We don’t only divine character in how people handle wins. You see more in the disasters.’

Ain’t that the truth.

‘Oh … OK.’ She was getting a promotion out of this?! ‘Thank you.’ She paused, and blurted: ‘You think the criminal department lads will cope with a female boss?’

‘No,’ said Mr Salter, and they shared an unexpected bout of conspiratorial laughter.

Laurie’s phone went with an unrecognised mobile number on Christmas Eve afternoon and despite her conviction that those were always best to leave to ring out, she picked up.

‘Hello, sweetie! It’s Hattie! Jamie’s best mate. We met at Eric’s sixty-fifth. In Lincoln. I was drunk. I made you ingest plum vodka.’

‘Oh, hi!’ Laurie said, smiling at the number of descriptors Hattie felt necessary, to identify her among all the Hatties that Laurie had met at sixty-fifth birthdays in Lincoln recently.

‘I will get to the point as you probably have presents to wrap and shit. I know everything, Jamie told me. And I mean everything. Well, I don’t knoweverything, like not how many positions in a night.’

Laurie laughed, despite herself.

‘I know about the deal you two made. I’ve known for a while.’

‘Did you know before Lincoln?!’

‘… Yeah. Dread secret. Only at the last minute after I’d blabbed to his parents that I knew he was seeing you. Jamie said I had to stop getting their hopes up and explained why.’

Hah, he’d told his best friend too. Wait – so when Hattie said Jamie was besotted, it wasn’t based on any fibs they’d told?

‘You asked me if I was in love with him?!’

‘Ha. Jamie said you were sharp! How do you remember that? I was bladdered! You were more like a couple than anyone else in that room and I couldn’t resist stirring.’

‘Hah,’ Laurie said, but the atmosphere of that night was now roaring back in her memory.

‘From the way he was talking about you constantly I thought it must be more complicated than he was saying, and then I saw you both together, and I knew for sure.’

‘Right.’

‘I know why he lost his job.’

‘Yeah. Not been a few weeks I’ll forget in a hurry!’ Laurie said, with fake jollity.

‘Your decisions are your decisions, for your reasons, but if it was because you thought Jamie was some lying manipulator, I want you to know that Jamie really, really loved you. I’ve known him since we were small, and yes, he’s broken some hearts but only in the way anyone as beautiful as him does; he’s not nasty. It’s beyond unfortunate that Past Him bit him on his arse when it did. For what it’s worth, he told me about the Eve thing at the time. He told me the same thing he told you: he knocked her back. And Laurie, look: he had no reason to lie to me.’

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