Page 37 of If I Never Met You

‘Can I ask you something? Was the rumour true that Salter told you not to touch his niece? What did hesay? I can’t imagine how he phrased it.’

Jamie laughed. ‘Oh, that did the rounds did it? I swear Kerry listens at the door, I can’t believe he’s stupid enough to tell her as much she knows.’

‘I’m sure she does. Or she’s bugged the room. She’s our own Wikileaks.’

‘It’s both true and not the whole truth. Am I speaking in confidence here?’

Laurie held up her hand and did a Scouts honour sign. ‘I’ve been relying on that since halfway through my first wine, to be honest.’

‘Itwaswarning me off Eve, but more than that, a whole “get your life together if you want to get on” gruff paternal lecture.’

‘Wow, seriously? Bit much?’

‘I’ve applied to be made partner.’

Laurie did a double-take. ‘Like, third wheel? Aren’t you … quite young for that?’

‘I went to see them both and said I am young, but I’m completely committed and definitely ready.’

Here was the white-hot ambition that put backs up and noses out of joint.

‘Yeah. I want to take on tons more work for a stake. I pretty much pitched them my vision for the future of the firm, for half an hour. They said they’d think about it.’

Laurie swirled her wine in her glass.

‘What was the life coaching about?’

‘When Eve arrived, Salter had me in to say, she is off limits, but also, a major sticking point in promoting me is my’ – Jamie made air quotes – ‘lifestyle. “You’re someone we can’t trust around the wives and girlfriends at the Christmas party.”’ He did a baritone imitation voice: ‘“That matters, young man, whether you like it or not.”’

‘Hahaha. Bloody hell.’

‘Yeah, I mean, they’re old fashioned and conventional, aren’t they. They only understand long-term partners, marriage. Two by two onto the Ark.’

‘It’s a bit much to say they can’t promote a single person! Jesus Christ, is it 1950?’ Laurie would’ve thought this unfair anyway, but in her current predicament she wondered if a spinster would also be ruled out, and her blood heated.

‘It’s not single, per se, it’s my kind of single. Being seen out with someone different every weekend. Playing the field. It could, and I quote this word for word, “leave the companyvulnerable to blackmail.” No, I have no idea what that means either.’

‘Oh no,’ Laurie said. Then, indiscreet in drink: ‘Dick pics. They mean dick pics and revenge porn and sex tapes, surely?’

‘Oh jeez … yeah you might be right.’

Jamie looked slightly uncomfortable and Laurie realised she’d been a trifle direct and crude. She’d indirectly referred to his … King and privy council, as Dan’s dad called it. His junk. Argh. She’d not congratulate herself on this moment when she awoke blearily tomorrow.

‘If only they’d asked, I could’ve told them of my strict “no making or sending grot” policy and given them access to my iCloud to prove it. I’m not a lawyer for nothing.’

Laurie laughed.

‘So, either I get myself a steady, respectable girlfriend by their end of year deadline, or no name above the door for me,’ Jamie concluded.

‘They were that prescriptive?’

‘Oh, it was coded. You know.Unless something changes …’

‘Is that likely?’

‘Put it this way. I’m kind of a communist, when it comes to relationships.’

‘You think we should all be state owned?’

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