Page 66 of If I Never Met You

‘The Royal we? The whole criminal department gets a veto on my love life?’

‘It’s not love and it’s no life. You heard.’

He threw the door open and stalked off. Laurie spotted the tactics: the flourish of a dramatic exit gave him the upper hand. A ‘do as I say or else,’ when you didn’t want to spell out the ‘else’.

Laurie’s chest was heaving with indignation, and the things she still wanted to say. Her fingers clenched and unclenched into fists.

Whenever she and Jamie decided to end this, she’d have learned things about other men that she couldn’t un-know.

Laurie hoped the day would pick up after Michael’s counselling session, but in vain.

A district judge in an extremely foul mood gave her city centre bin arsonist a three-month custodial sentence, out in six weeks, after Laurie argued for a suspended one due to it being a first offence for criminal damage and the pigeon not being harmed. He added tartly that ‘his counsel would have better spent their time engaging with plausible outcomes than trying to achieve extraordinary things at the expense of reality’.

The prosecutors smirked.

Her client didn’t quite follow the language or the argument but he could tell the judge was saying Laurie had fucked up, and he flipped her the finger while the cuffs were being put on.Yes, yes, it’s my fault you tried to ‘send a message’ with a ‘cleansing fire’ to the ‘consumerist chimpanzees’ of the Arndale.

Laurie messaged Jamie on her way back to tell him about Michael’s hostility and didn’t expect anything other than a few sympathetically chosen emojis of bells and clowns, so tossed her phone into her bag after sending.

Seconds after she took her seat at her desk, Jamie appeared in the doorway of their office, filling the frame, a hand braced on the door jamb.

‘Laurie, you got a minute?’

Bharat and Di both gawped. Not only was he bonking Laurie, he was prepared to approach her desk and speak to her, asking for private audiences! Absolute libertine.

Laurie had already forgotten how ludicrously pretty he was: dark hair against snow white skin, expensive ink blue suitjacket gaping open to a slim midriff, clad in narrow cut, pale blue designer shirt. You could whip out a Nikon and snap him, standing there as he was, and probably win an award.

‘Let’s not risk the lift, eh,’ he said, and they took the stairs, the receptionists watching them pass through the lobby as if Elvis was leaving the building.

When they were at safe distance, Jamie said: ‘Michael’s been aggro with you?’

‘Yes. Pretty much promising me pariah status if I keep seeing you.’

Jamie exhaled. ‘This is beyond shit, isn’t it? What business is it of his?’

‘It’s truly warped. Like I should’ve put myself up for bids in a fair and open democratic process and not selfishly decided who I wanted to date myself. He painted you as borderline sex offender.’

Laurie knew she was being slightly indiscreet but she was rattled, and she wanted Jamie’s support. And Michael despising him was hardly unknown to Jamie.

‘What a creep.’ Jamie shook his head. ‘Imagine bullying and intimidating a woman about her choices in her private life and thinking you’re the one respecting her. I did warn you he had a thing for you.’

‘I didn’t think it would turn sonasty.He and I have always got on, he knows I’m sound. We’ve worked together for six or seven years. One photo of me – well, two – looking cosy with you, and boom, all gone.’

‘Mmm. Welcome to being outside the circle of trust in this place. It’s likeThe Revenantwithout the snow.’

Laurie smiled. Jamie liked his film references.

‘Why does Michael despise you so much?’ she asked. Might as well get Jamie’s side, which she didn’t trust either.

‘Oh he’s loathed me from the word go. His big mate Anthony Barratt was off, I got given his caseload, and there was loads of stuff missing. I had to ask for documents from the CPS and get an adjournment. I mean he was sick, there’s no shame that he dropped the odd ball, but what was I supposed to do? Fuck the cases up and get marks against my name, five minutes after I joined, to spare Ant’s dignity?’

‘It says too much about this place that I think the answer is “yes.” You are describing what they call a team player.’

‘Huh. More like a fall guy for their macho bullshit.’

Subservience, that was the word, that was what they demanded from Laurie, from women, but also from Jamie. Maybe he wasn’t disgracefully cocky, maybe he’d simply not felt the need to tone down his self-assurance in order to be liked. Which was quite likeable in itself – to thine own self be true.

Laurie combed her memory for any example of Jamie’s arrogance and could only come up with instances of him being hard working, and unapologetic about the fact. Which irked people, and to Laurie’s chagrin, had irked her too.

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