Page 85 of If I Never Met You

‘No, I didn’t mean that, of course notthat.I meant …’ Jamie gestured at their proximity. ‘All night? I’ve never done that before. I usually hate it.’

‘Haha. Why am I not surprised? Do I get to say I taught you something new in bed?’ She was letting her mouth run on, in the uncertainty of what the tone between them was going to be today.

‘Yeurgh’ Jamie said, rubbing his neck, doing a little shudder as he heaved himself out of bed.

Oh, so that was it. Making it clear he regretted their intimacy.

‘Why are you such a prude with me? Where’s the wild sex man of myth and legend, strutting around swigging Wild Turkey, in his Jim Morrison snakeskin trousers?’

Jamie turned, frowning. ‘Why do you have to constantly characterise me like that? How would you feel if I was all “lol, Laurie with her one boyfriend”?’

Laurie opened her mouth, no justification came out. She felt slightly ashamed.

‘Sorry,’ Jamie said, ‘Sorry. That was morning me and you didn’t deserve that.’

He went for a shower and Laurie sat, hugging her knees. Jamie returned from the shower, dry clothes, wet hair, and said: ‘Laurie. I’m an unspeakable shit for snapping at you, after everything you’ve done for me. I hate myself right now. Please accept my grovelling apology?’

Laurie smiled up at him. ‘No, you were right.’ She paused. ‘The truth is, I’m terrified of The First One After Dan and it comes out as lairy bravado.’

She surprised herself by being this open. It suddenly felt better to share it than hide it. She’d seen Jamie naked, figuratively speaking, and she felt more able to expose herself.

‘Why? I mean, why are you terrified?’

Laurie was embarrassed to say, but the urge to purge herself of these thoughts was greater.

‘What if he thinks my body is off-putting, and the way I do sex is boring?’

Jamie laughed. ‘He won’t.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Because the last man liked the deal so much he stuck around for nearly twenty years.’

‘Hah!’ Laurie said. ‘Thanks.’

‘I don’t want to disappoint you, but us men, we’re not that different. There’s not that much variety.’

She was intrigued Jamie would say this. It was very off brand. Wasn’t variety, not same-same, his whole raison d’etre?

‘That’s what my best friend tells me.’

‘Was she the hair-flicking girl in The Ivy?’

‘Yes! Hah. Emily’s not a hair-flicker, she’s great.’

‘That was a set-up, wasn’t it? No way did she run into us.’

Laurie made a face. ‘OK, yes, but not a safety check-in. She was being a voyeur as she thinks you’re hot. “Yeurgh”, as a man once said.’

‘Imagine how foolish you’re going to feel when you realise she was right all along.’

Laurie barked with laughter. ‘When’s that going to be?’

‘About an hour, if Mum gets the photo albums out. The nineties was a very strong decade for me.’ He shaped his wet hair into a boy band middle parting and pulled a dim face.

Laurie laughed like a drain. She remembered watching him holding Eve in the palm of his hand in Refuge;the lad knows how to turn it on alright.

‘Can I ask you an embarrassing question?’ he said, scuffing his hair back to normal with the heel of his hand.

---