Page 127 of Last Night

‘They certainly don’t chuck you out for being rich, they do ban you for being too good at blackjack,’ Fin says. ‘That’s why the house always wins.’

‘Counting cards,’ I nod.

‘He wasn’t counting them, he told me that …’ Fin stops, eyes wide at all our shocked faces. ‘I mean, I read that he said …’

We all screech in delight.

‘OK. Here are the answers …’ the quizmaster says, and we swap sheets with the next table for marking. We do improbably well, compared to usual.

‘And last … I asked, which branch did the Slough branch merge with inThe Office?’

‘If it’s Reading, I hate you all,’ Justin says.

‘It was of course, Swindon.Sunny Swindon.’

‘Yes!’ Ed says. ‘Nice one, Finlay.’

We exchange papers back again.

‘Forty-six!’ I say.

‘Alrighty then! Who got … fifty out of fifty …’ bellows the compere.

We’re tense, Francis and I holding hands, eyes squeezed shut.

‘Forty-nine!’ Silence.

‘Forty-eight!’ Silence.

‘Forty-seven!’ The Packable Anoraks got forty-seven, surely. Silence.

I open my eyes.

‘Who got … forty-six?’ the quizmaster says.

We look at each other. ‘Us! We did!’ the five of us shout in unison, waking Leonard. Unfortunately the Packable Anoraks have bellowed too.

‘Bring your papers up here, please,’ and Francis scrambles up to hand it over for verification.

Within minutes, the compere says: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, seems we have a dead heat here. So you know what that means: a tie-break question. Can each team nominate a member to come up here. I will ask a question, only the two nominees get to answer. The first to give me the right answer, wins.’

The Packables send their best man, who looks like a furious wizard, patting him on the back as he steps up. ‘Go on, Tony!’

We look at each other.

‘Eve,’ Fin says. ‘You’re equal to this challenge. Go get us that trophy.’

‘Oh no, I’m shite.’

‘Not shite. Up,’ Fin says, and Ed, Justin and Francis make noises of agreement.

‘Here it is, the tie-break. Remember, shout it out because it’s fastest answer as well as correct answer, now. The ballad “I Will Always Love You” was a smash hit for the late Whitney Houston in 1992, spending fourteen weeks at the top of the Billboard charts. However, Whitney didn’t write it. Who did write it?’

‘BARRY GIBB!’ Tony from the Packable Anoraks shouts, like he’s been Tasered, to football-stand cheers from his team.

‘That is incorrect, I’m afraid,’ the compere says, as the din subsides. ‘Would this lovely lady like to give her answer?’

I look at the hopeful faces of my team, their fists clenched in anticipation. Finlay winks at me.

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