Page 63 of Mad About You

‘Is it?’

‘Yeah. I have form for picking Hot Thatchers.’

She choked on her mouthful of beer. ‘Hot what?’

‘Sam says every girlfriend of mine is, I quote, “Margaret Thatcher’s personality in the body of a babe.”’

Harriet started laughing again. ‘This isn’t my fault,’ she gasped out, pointing at herself. ‘You need to be less funny while telling me terrible things.’

‘I mean it’s finding a balance, isn’t it? Equally I’m not inclined to go for girls who buy ornaments of moon-gazing hares or try crafting with cat hair,’ Cal said, throwing her anI’ve cheered up now, serious bit’s oversmirk.

‘Smart arse,’ she said.

‘True. Ugh, I am so wasted,’ Cal said, rubbing his eyes. ‘Mind if I lie on the floor?’

‘Pardon?’ Harriet said.

‘Remember in school, the laminated safety poster with fire bell procedure? If there was a room full of smoke, you’re supposed to get underneath it? That’s how I feel when pissed.’

He wriggled off the sofa and lay down on the carpet, hands on his stomach.

‘Better.’

‘Really?’

‘Try it. You won’t go back.’

Harriet put her beer aside and lay down next to him, heads alongside each other. They both stared at the star-shaped ceiling pendant, its bulb the only illumination in the gloaming.

‘I still feel drunk,’ Harriet said, after a minute.

‘That’ll be the alcohol.’

‘Why did Kit leave all the house stuff? And the house, for that matter?’

‘Because I paid for it all.’

‘Oh.’

‘A sizeable inheritance from my gran, right after I met Kit. It was too soon for joint mortgages, but she was all “put it into property!” I had the credit card and she had the vision.’

‘Did you pay for the wedding?’

‘Yup. Twenty-five grand to remain single.’

‘Ouch.’

‘Worth every penny when her dad came to see me afterwards. Imagine owing it to your Not-In-Laws.’

‘Ouch.’

‘Did you tell them why you cut and ran?’

‘No. Beyond some “ask your daughter” enigmatic stuff that went down like a lead balloon. I told my parents, who to be fair, said I was well off out. Might’ve helped that they already couldn’t stand Kit.’

Cal sat up, back against the sofa, and picked up the remote for the karaoke.

‘Remember being bright, shiny and hopeful about love and relationships, thinking we’d not make the same messes our parent’s generation did?’

---