Page 72 of Mad About You

‘You were saying it out of protectiveness.’

‘Yeah, but also frustration with her. Dad’s cheating meant he lost a lot of my respect. The ugly truth is, Harriet, Mumputting up with it lost a lot, too. I’d like to tell you I feel nothing but compassion and there’s no contempt, but it’d be a lie. I feel wracked with guilt about that, but I can’t make myself not feel it.’

Harriet nodded. Someone of Cal’s confidence and forward motion probably would find abject passivity a tough one to empathise with.

‘In many ways they’re happy, and we had a happy childhood. Erin, my sister, is much less bothered by it than I am. But it’s very much not an example of marriage I want to follow. It makes me sad.’

‘Are you worried you’ll turn into him?’

‘Oh, no. Not at all. I’ve never found fidelity difficult. I don’t think I’ve ever had his love of the chase.’

Also, I bet you’ve never had to chase.

Odd that in light of this, Cal gave Kit’s infidelity a pass. Unless …

‘What if you’re not like him, but you keep dating him?’

‘You what now?’

‘The Hot Thatchers. You’re replaying the dynamic, except you’re in your mum’s role. You’re being the version of your mum who would stand up for herself.I will tame this person!”

‘Hahahaha, oh God … There could be something in that. When Sam’s wondered about why I consistently pick nightmares, I always say, but you have to have a challenge. I’d be bored with a push-over.’

‘I don’t think “a challenge” and “remorselessly daunting” are the same thing,’ Harriet said. She liked the version of herself she was with him.

‘At the great age of thirty-three, with your help, I think I’ve finally worked that out.’

They smiled at each other, then both glanced away. Harriet went back to gazing at the butterflies in next door’s buddleia.

‘God, sorry. You were having a sunny Sunday with bouquets from your customers, and then the Clarkes crash into it.’

Cal looked authentically ashamed, but Harriet realised the highs and lows of the last few hours had been a fine distraction from the utter wtf-ness of Scott’s attack.

‘Hah. It’s fine.’

‘Nice necklace,’ Cal said, spotting the small key on the chain.

‘Thank you.’

‘Does the key fit any lock in particular?’

Bloody journalists. Harriet smiled. Nearly everyone figured it was merely decorative.

‘A jewellery box.’

‘Ah. Family diamonds?’

‘It contains a letter from my mum.’

Cal’s smile softened. ‘I can imagine that has extraordinary value. Much more so than stones.’

‘It does. Although I’ve never opened it. The letter, I mean, not the box. Obviously I opened that when I put it inside.’

She’d not told Jon this and she felt the betrayal in blurting it straight out to Cal. Jon had also directly asked, and Harriet had dissembled: ‘It’s private’.

Yet she knew why she’d told Cal, and never Jon. The stakes were lower. Jon would’ve demanded they read it together and when she’d declined, he’d have pecked at her over it, sayingit was something she (they) had to do. Jon, she had come to realise, couldn’t help but make everything about him, even at moments when he thought he was being exceptionally caring.

‘You have a letter from your mum you’ve never read?’

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