Page 25 of Between Us

They were chatting amiably and discussing the route they’d take exploring the grounds, when Gina appeared in the doorway, wild eyed, looking as dramatic as if she was bursting in for the female solo in a Meatloaf video.

‘Matt, what the FUCK?’ she said, in a ragged voice, and Matt physically started. Everyone else looked at each other in amazement, too. That Matt could’ve committed fresh atrocities and be down in the kitchen, freshly showered and crisply shirted by half nine, seemed improbable.

‘What have I done?!’

‘Your message. Was that meant to be funny?’

‘What message?’

‘YOU KNOW WHAT MESSAGE! Those texts!’

The collective gaze fastened on Matt, whose mouth was open, his brow knitted. The toast that had been heading towards his mouth was replaced on the plate.

Gina turned her phone towards him and held the screen in his face.

He frowned, silent for a second. ‘I didn’t send that! Why would I send that?!’

‘You tell me. Fourteen times!’

Matt raised his body out of his chair, back straight, so he had pocket space to fumble his phone out.

‘I didn’t! I don’t know what’s happening here …’ Mattsaid, tapping at the screen and frantically scrolling to his messages. Another brief and exquisitely taut pause. ‘Fuck. It looks like Ididsend them, but I didn’t mean to, I promise! It’s a bum dial! A pocket dial!’

‘What did you send?!’ Anita said, unable to contain herself any longer. ‘Dick pics?’

Arm extended fully, Gina marched the length of the table and held her phone up in front of each of them in turn, giving them a second to focus. As if she was a prosecution lawyer, making sure every member of the jury was informed. Roisin squinted. On her iPhone screen was a poo emoji sticker, with hearts for eyes and large grin. A sort of jaunty, laughing turd, a brown Mr Whippy. Unfortunately, Roisin could see how his hearts-for-eyes could be construed as tactless joy in beholding something.

‘Fourteen in a row,’ Gina said, in a stage whisper, as if the number had Illuminati significance.

None of them knew what to say as comfort. Roisin guessed Gina must know it was a cock-up but had been trying to decipher the meaning long enough that her jangled nerves had turned it into conspiracy. Every time her phone pinged, she ratcheted up another notch. Jet fuel couldn’t melt steel beams and Matt couldn’t have missent a coiled pile of anthropomorphic faeces.

‘How could it not have been a mistake?’ Matt said. ‘What message would I have been conveying with those pictures? They’re nonsensical!’

‘I’m supposed to believe you sent thisto me, by chance, after what happened last night?! Bit of a coincidence,’ Gina scoffed.

‘Not exactly a coincidence!’ Matt was flushed the colour of beetroot raita. ‘I had my phone open to message you earlier. I couldn’t think what to say. I didn’t send anything. I put my phone away. I must have put it in my pocket unlocked, and then … pushed on it.’ He gestured with open palms at his trouser area, in his seated position.

‘You’re making excuses because the joke has misfired! Because I’ve called you out in front of everyone!’

‘I’m not! Why the hell would I send you a picture of laughing shit?!’

‘I don’t know! YOU TELL ME!’ Gina bellowed at the top of her lungs. She ran from the room, making audible noises of distress.

A pall descended.

‘I don’t know if I should go after her?’ Matt said, looking genuinely upset. ‘I don’t know how to explain if she’s going to insist it was intentional?’

Meredith put down her egg and bacon roll and also stood, wiping her hands on a piece of kitchen paper.

‘You’ll make things worse if you go up to her. I will talk to her and fix it. Gina will be OK for the walk in’ – she checked her watch – ‘half an hour’s time. This is my pledge. But, Matt, while I know you didn’t mean any harm, please, no more incidental … incidents? Give her a swerve entirely, until she’s calmed down. And everyone leave my bap please, I am coming back for it.’

‘Thanks, Meredith. Really appreciate it,’ said a crestfallen Matt.

Meredith headed off. The convivial atmosphere had dissipated like a needle scratch in a jukebox sound effect.

‘Bit of fresh air will sort this out, it’ll be over by lunchtime,’ Dev said, consolingly, to Matt. ‘You know Gina adores you, she’s absolutely besotted with you.’

Roisin cringed.

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