Page 69 of Between Us

Ominous ‘yet’, after ‘kids’ there,Roisin thought. Ominous to the point of strange and presumptuous, given they were separated.Be clear in your own mind what you want, or Joe will be clear for you.

‘Roisin. My question to you is, is there no way back now? Because I love you, and I love our life together. I want to have this adventure with you. That was the whole point from the start. I got side-tracked and let you think you were irrelevant, rather than the reason. You are … undemanding. That soundsa bad word and yet I mean it as the highest praise. You’ve never been needy, and lately it meant I took the piss.’

‘What happened to “you can’t bear me to hog the limelight”?’ Roisin said.

‘I was a cock. That was an awful thing to say. Of course it wasn’t ever that.’

‘Why say it then?’

‘Because when someone’s punching you, however much you deserve it, you put your fists up, too. That’s all.’

Joe finished his wine and poured another, offering the bottle to Roisin first. She shook her head.

It was slightly absurd; however, Roisin hadn’t prepared for Joe announcing, ‘I don’t want us to end,’ accompanied by a proper apology, couched in the terms of utmost persuasion.

She had no answer.

‘If you wanted – as a hard reset – we could try relationship counselling,’ Joe added.

‘I thought that wassnake oil for couples who won’t read the writing on the wall,’ Roisin smiled, quoting a Joe-ism from a very different, untroubled era. Ah, the haughtiness of youth.

‘Haha! Damn your smart mouth, Past Me. Yeah, I’m unsure, but I want to show you I will take accountability.’

Eesh, that wasn’t Joe from York; it was very Californian-sounding. Who was he becoming?

‘Also, something else. The sums of money being bandied about during this trip: they are genuinely nonsensical, and if any of my things go into production it gets sillier still. Whether we are over or not, Rosh – I want you to have my half of this place, outright.I’m going to sign it over to you. Then it’s yours, sorted, whatever you decide.’

‘Joe, thanks, but I can’t possibly …’ Roisin started.

‘No, I absolutely mean it. You’re a teacher, what you do is harder than what I do, yet you’re never going to be paid millions. You put a roof over my head and bought my dinner for five years. None of what’s happening to me, now, would be possible without you, then. If we do go our separate ways, my half is your gift in return. A memento of our relationship. I’m overdue showing you some gratitude.’

‘Thank you, but that’s mad. I can’t accept that.’

‘You’d still be taking the consolation prize. You’d be giving up Santa Monica and going to the Golden Globes with me,’ Joe said, with a rueful smirk-smile.

‘You’re thinking of moving out there?’

Joe shrugged. ‘It’s on the table. If I’m single, I might. Or we can do Los Angeles. Sky’s the limit, Walters.’

He’d not used her surname this way since he used to flirt with her in the staff room.

Single. Joe being single. Their not belonging to each other any more. Roisin was being confronted with the simple reality of what she’d decided.

She didn’t know how to feel about this huge shift in gears with Joe: the largesse, the humility, the dangling of carrots. After the unrepentant attitude and acid thrown around outside Benbarrow Hall, it was almost dizzying.

‘Can I think about this? Everything you’ve said is a lot.’

‘Sure.’

‘I’m going to be back and forth from Webberley a bit in the coming weeks. Mum’s managed to leave herself without bar staff in the evenings so I said I’d help out.’

Roisin had no idea she was going to say this until she opened her mouth.

It suddenly made perfect sense. Use The Mallory as a bolthole to get some space from Joe, and Cormac’s visits, and their situationship. The nice walk with Matt and the freeing escape into the countryside had warmed her up to the idea.

‘Oh, wow. Lorraine has clashed like a Titan with a twenty-two-year-old pot washer again, has she?’

‘Something like that.’

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