Page 100 of You Belong With Me

‘He was looking at you, but you could tell he was thinking about me? This does feel a bit clairvoyant.’

Edie was walking a fine line: not wanting to mock Elliot when he was upset, while firmly dissuading him this idea had any merit. However, it was obvious he’d made up his mind.

‘When you’re madly into someone who isn’t single, their partner becomes a ton of clues about the object of your desire. Then after the assessment, it’s competitive, what you’re up against. They’re covertly figuring out your strengths and weaknesses, running sums, sussing where they have advantages. Whether they could take you in a fight. Metaphorically speaking.’

‘Declan’s not at all aggro or macho. He’s a goofy adopter of stray cats who’s probably never exchanged blows in his life.’

‘I said metaphorically, but you rushing to defend him isn’t really likely to improve things here, is it?’ Elliot snapped, with a sudden flash of temper.

She understood now: he’d not broached it because he didn’t trust himself.

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‘I think you might’ve added two plus two and got thirty-four, that’s all,’ Edie said carefully.

‘I wish I had.’

Elliot’s jaw clenched, and Edie had never seen this mood before. She knew right now that she wasn’t able to reach him by any usual route.

‘I haven’t detected Declan has any special feelings, and I’m still not remotely convinced he does.’

‘You’ve never sensed an attraction?’ Elliot said, with evident disbelief.

‘No, we’re mates. I’m the only person he knows here – he’s probably clung on to me a bit. Plus, I don’t go around thinking,oh no, I hope this man working with me isn’t into me.I’m not a femme fatale. I wear a coat with Pret tomato soup stains on it.’

‘The fact you need to get your coat dry cleaned doesn’t change the fact you’re very easy to fall in love with. I may know what I’m talking about.’

Edie thought, more likely, Elliot Owen had picked her, and her stock value had shot up. Declan’s introduction toEdie Thompson, as a concept before a person, involved two stories involving highly newsworthy amounts of male attention. It wasn’t a fair test; he didn’t meet her cold, in her thoroughly overlooked era. If there was too muchnoticinggoing on, it might ironically be more to do with Elliot than Edie.

‘Could it be your natural protectiveness, making you—’ she began, instead.

‘Oh,don’t you dare, Edie,’ Elliot said, with another flash of temper. ‘Don’t use how much I care about you to pretend it makes me unable to tell the difference between a nuisance and a threat. You once accused me of gaslighting – well, that’s gaslighting.’

‘He’s not a threat! Can I remind you I have to be OK with you play-act boning total goddesses?’

‘That is shit beyond belief for you, but this is different.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s real.’

Elliot kept dropping these certainties at Edie’s feet like bombs.

‘Except it isn’t – you’re speculating about Declan’s feelings while mine don’t exist.’

Elliot said nothing. Edie wasn’t sure why she felt so culpable: she’d done nothing wrong, unless ‘immediate rapport’ was a crime.

Yet, as she thought it, she realised immediate rapport between straight members of the two sexes could be deemed something else entirely. Had she really made a huge category error, then custard-pied it into Elliot’s face? It was nevercomfortable to do a high-speed recalculation of whether you were in fact in the wrong, mid-argument.

‘… The fact remains, if anyone was sizing you up, strengths and weaknesses, they’d give up instantly. That’s got to be a comfort.’

‘Of course he has a huge advantage over me, Edie. Time with you. The boring days and the funny anecdotes and being there when you get a bad phone call. Proximity.’

She’d had whispers of it from their earliest acquaintance, but Edie finally confronted just how lonely Elliot’s life could be. He was, for all the stardust and riches, a glorified contractor for hire, of no fixed address. The earthbound gravity of ‘pint after work?’ didn’t exist for him and likely never would again. He was Doctor Who, with British Airways business lounge as his Tardis. For the first time, she could see he’d won huge and missed out.

‘It’s not going to make any difference to how I feel about you.’

Elliot looked downcast. ‘The fact you’ve done this emotional super-injunction on yourself about him – it worries me.’

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