Page 117 of Cover Story

‘Mmm,’ Bel said, regarding him, and a distinct tension, thatmight be of a sexual nature, joined them in the room. ‘In that case, keep the tab open and bill me for “watching television together”.’

‘Netflix and chill, is it? You are a predator.’

Bel chortled, positioning herself against many pillows and commenced channel surfing. She lucked out with the opening sequence ofPoint Break.

‘What a film! And about going undercover! This is fate,’ she said to Connor, who joined her on the bed.

Bel leaned against his chest, her head under his chin, saying: ‘Charge for whatever this is.’

She had to safety-proof him flinching away, yet it didn’t feel as if he would. Instead, Connor slid his arm round her middle. The hair at the nape of Bel’s neck prickled: it felt as though they might be playing a game. One person pushed their luck a little, and the other responded.

‘Nice watch,’ she said, looking down at his rolled-up shirt sleeve.

‘Thanks. Gift from Shaun.’

‘I liked Shaun.’

‘He liked you, I’m dismayed to say.’

Keanu Reeves was learning Bodhi’s stoner philosophies and Bel impulsively put her arm over his arm, her hand over his. No doubt their not looking at each other was emboldening her.

Connor interlocked their fingers so they were holding hands.He’ddone that, hadn’t he? That wasn’t her. That was definitely him.

Bel’s heart was pounding now because ithadto be a game of copping-off chicken. Hadto be. There were no witnesses and here they were, in loving and wholly voluntary embrace.

What did she do to signal she wanted more still? Did he want that?

‘If it’s useful information, you kiss really well, by the way,’ Bel said. Sod it. Subtle was for people with more than twelve hours left, and he could hardly object to a compliment. It felt as if his embrace got tighter, after she spoke.

‘Thanks, so do you.’

‘You have to say that.’

Honestly Bel, teenagers would think this was embarrassingly clumsy.

‘I probably would have to say that, but it’s true anyway.’

This was as easy as it was going to get. Bel took a deep breath, turned her head and kissed him. There was an agonising split second where Connor seemed unresponsive, and then the message got through to Bel:he’s kissing you back.It was more tentative than before yet still felt like all her birthdays come at once.

As it progressed, she pulled the strap on her dress down her shoulder, proving she was right to wear one of her nicest balcony bras for this event. She moved his hand onto her breast because her nerves couldn’t cope with any more ambiguity, she had to know this was reciprocal. Connor didn’t move his hand away, under hers, and they carried on kissing. He didn’t move it either and she didn’t know what to make of that. She was kind of hoping to be seized. She’d have to do the seizing: Bel squirmed against him. Her hands went to the waistband on his trousers as she fumbled with the buttons, without his help.

‘Bel,’ Connor whispered, staying her hand, ‘I’ve really liked fake dating you. You’ve been the greatest girlfriend I’ve never had. But I draw the line at fake sleeping with you.’

Bel stopped, nonplussed-stupid: ‘Given no one knows, I was thinking that we were real sleeping with each other?’

Connor let go and moved back.

‘But we’re only here because of all the pretending today. I don’t think it’s enough reason to trash a great friendship with a one-night stand.’

Great friendship. One-night stand.

Bel knew‘I do not want to do this because I am not sufficiently attracted to you’reworded when she heard it.

Why kiss her like that?! She’d never have been this foolhardy if she’d not thought that two incredible kisses, one entirely by choice, indicated some willingness.

She must’ve pounced, and thus British-embarrassed and stunned him into auto-responding before sanity reasserted itself. It felt incredibly like that, in fact. Connor thinking,woah there, I thought that was a moment of wine-fuelled silliness, but you really mean this?

The only way to make this rejection a notch less excruciating was to act as if she was all, ‘OK, thought this was casual, NBD, I do this all the time’, sex person.

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