Page 37 of Cover Story

Connor could see that as Jen hadn’t foreseen Connor would find out, she’d done no forward planning on what she should disclose. It was like opening an overfull cupboard held together only by its lock, and the contents coming out in a cascade.

‘We haven’t. I didn’t know we were “sexting secret lovers” though. Did you not feel gross about it? If I’d not got it by mistake, you’d be sitting here with me getting his replies.’

Jen covered her face with her hands for a moment.

‘Honestly, nothing has made sense since it began. I’ve not been myself. I’ve just felt such a psychological mess, you know?’

Connor hadn’t registered Jen was on her phone more and thought his lack of registering things full stop had played a part. Shaun once said all infidelity starts with attention, too little of it in one place and too much of it from another. His brother could really try being right less often.

‘Are you saying you’ve never thought about it? Other people? I wondered if … I wondered if you had.’

‘Nope,’ Connor said. ‘If I’d got to the point of wanting to sleep with someone else that much, I’d have told you.’

‘Look. It’ll be completely long over when you get back. I’ll finish it now and you can have access to my phone to see I’m telling the truth,’ Jen said, manner a little frantic, ‘I promise.’

‘Hold on,’ Connor said, being careful to modify his voice lest any drinker nearby tune into the soap opera-worthy content: ‘You think we’re not splitting up?’

He could see from Jen’s stunned expression that she really didn’t think this was terminal if she didn’t want it to be. Connor was going to have a lot to think about in the coming months of dreary solitude up here.

‘You don’t want to even try?’ she said. ‘Unfaithfulness can be a reset opportunity.’

Connor rubbed his eyes. ‘Oh, please, can we not with the therapy phrases. Let’s not find out it was your Father Wound.’

‘It can be worked through, long-term relationships are work.’

‘I don’t want to try, Jen. You’ve taken three weeks to bother to visit, because you preferred to be vigorously nailed by Franco Manco the PT. I take it there was no book launch?’

Jen cast her eyes downward. ‘You didn’t ask what book it was. What does that tell you, Con? I’ve not needed to invent cover stories– you had no interest.’

‘That’s calledtrust,’ Connor said, trying to exclaim in fury at a low volume: ‘Are you for real? You think your lying to go bone some other man reflects badly onme?’

‘Sorry,’ she said, but her tone and face were sullen. When the mortification of this faded for her, Connor realised her dominant feeling would be one of resentment that she’d given him the upper hand.

‘There’s no amount of Relate sessions that’s going to fix this for me. When would you have told me about him, if ever?’ he said.

‘I don’t know. I still love you enough to try, that’s all I’m saying,’ Jen said, raising limpid eyes to meet his. She was trying to guilt him and it wasn’t going to work.

‘You said it yourself, things weren’t good before this. You hated me ditching my career,’ Connor said.

‘Have you got any idea how hard you were to live with during the worst of it? You barely spoke to me.’

‘I know. I’m sorry for that,’ he said. ‘I was keeping my head above water and everything else had to take second place. But you should’ve been glad I quit, then? Instead you actually told me not to.’

‘I worried about how we’d make it work with a mortgage and kids, that’s all. You were so unhappy that all you cared about was escaping. I was worried you’d still be as depressed afterwards.’

‘What you mean is, you thought the problem was probably me, so it might as well be rich me.’

‘You know what? With all your razor-sharp insights, I get the feeling you just don’t like me very much anymore.’ Jen put her hands up. ‘I know, I know– I’ve got no right to complain as things stand.’

‘No, you haven’t,’ Connor said, which was an easy dodge. ‘Where did you have sex with him?’

Jen cast her eyes to the table. ‘Hotels. Never at ours if that’s what you’re asking.’

‘How many times?’

Jen swallowed.

‘Um … Four.’

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