Page 74 of Cover Story

‘If I said that to you it’d be harassment,’ he muttered.

‘It would be, because the patriarchy says my nipples are ruder than yours,’ Bel said. ‘Take it up with them.’

‘This escalated quickly,’ Connor said, eyes wide.

‘I’ll get you a towel,’ Bel said, before awkwardness could develop.

She returned with one from the spare room, pulled a chair out from the dining table and whacked the kettle on.

Her laptop was open and ready to start their conference with Toby and Albert the lawyer in ten minutes’ time.

‘The next Didsbury trip is on then?’ Connor said, rubbing at his hair.

After a period of silence from the Ci Vediamo direction– which Bel was right on the verge of finding concerning– Amber had got back in touch, and with strenuous apologies.

She and Rick (sans kennelled Gertie) had been on a last-minute holiday to Santorini. Instagram confirmed. There was a holiday dump of beaded thong sandal-clad feet resting on whitewashed balconies and paving slab-sized blocks of feta on fries next to his ’n’ hers sunglasses on the check tablecloth, set to a clip of ‘GREECE’ by DJ Khaled. Bel was glad the psychodrama of advertising yourself like a commodity online was one she could skip.

You & Connor have to come over. How about late drinks lock-in at CV? I need to pay you back for that MESS with Rick. Gertie will be over the moon to see her boyfriend too. How are you fixed for a week on Saturday?

Bel had responded positively and alerted both Toby and Connor they needed a hasty Teams meeting, hence today.

‘Your brother was great by the way,’ Bel said. ‘Did he have a good trip?’

‘Oh yes, he did, thanks. He’s on to London now seeing my parents. He bought them a sack of gifts in Selfridges food hall and went to the football museum.’

‘I see what you mean about his being incisive. I felt cleverer just talking to him.’

‘Right? He left me by handing over this card in a sealed envelope with the date I leave Manchester on it, with strict instructions not to open it before then. It contains a prediction apparently. Like some sort of cheap magician.’

‘Wow. You’ll have to tell me what it says.Should’ve bought an umbrellaprobably.’

The wall clock hit the hour and Bel clicked the link to join the meeting room.

‘I can’t overrun today, I’m afraid, I’ve got tickets forOperation Mincemeat The Musical,’ Toby said, as the glass-walled office sprang into view on Bel’s MacBook.

Sure, sure, this is only lives, careers and our arses hanging in the balance,Bel thought and didn’t say.

‘Hi, Connor. How’s the Manchester posting going?’ Toby said.

‘It’s gone in unexpected directions,’ Connor said, nodding towards Bel, then Bel saw the shadow cross Connor’s face because he’d made it sound like they were sleeping together.

Bel assumed a businesslike tone and outlined the lock-in, the whereabouts of the iPad, the general intention to plunder.

‘I’m going to ask Amber if I can book the York family infor a stay here when my apartment won’t be big enough. I’m hoping she gets the tablet out and I see the passcode. Then, after that, one of us lifts it. Connor had a smart idea we could take a factory settings iPad, put their cover on it, let them think it’s bricked overnight while we swipe the goods from it, then put the original back.’

‘Woah woah woah,’ Toby said, putting his coffee mug down with a bump.

Albert Double-Barrel had woken up too, like the dormouse in the teapot.

‘Nobody’s taking anything off the premises. That is the criminal act of theft.’

‘We’d return it ASAP,’ Bel said, but she was hot under her clothes. This was a Jenga block tumble, she knew it and felt it instinctively.

‘Steady on there, Woodward and Bernstein,’ Toby said, ‘“Intention to return” isn’t mitigation when stealing something, or everyone would use it. And I’d rather you didn’t make that case in a magistrate’s court, in the name of working for this newspaper.’

‘We can’t upload up to 180 days of doorbell footage while we’re in the bar, though,’ Bel said. ‘It’s going to take about two hours. Right, Connor?’

‘Yes. Obviously, if it’s only recording when motion-triggered, it’s not five whole months of tape but it’s still a lot. It’ll take at least two hours, I reckon. We can erase the fact we’ve uploaded it so they’d not know we have it straight away.’

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