Page 80 of No Escape

My emotions are a mess. It’s strange to have Leo and Shaw so physically close. I missed them so badly, it’s almost embarrassing. A huge part of me just wants to take the win. They may have disappeared, but they’re here now, and that means something…

Right?

On the other hand, no matter how hard I try to force away the feelings of hurt and betrayal, they keep popping up. Even smelling Leo’s scent in the bed I shared with Valor and Omen feels wrong, but it also blends together with their smells in a way my system is obsessed with.

Omen repeatedly asked if I would be okay with Leo and Shaw, and I assured him I would be. And physically, I’m completely safe with them. It’s the emotional aspects of seeing them that have me a total wreck.

Omen also made sure to tell me not to feel guilty and to let them take care of me if it came down to it…but he also doesn’t know about our history or why things are so complicated.

Thatbetais more in tune with my needs than any alpha I’ve ever been around. It’s confusing, but also endearing, and I just really miss him. Even as worried as he was about Valor, he still had the presence of mind to set me at ease. He made sure I knew they wouldn’t want me to suffer if I had a heat spike while they were locked away.

I need them both back with me.

Tears leak from my eyes, and I feel ridiculous.

I’m safe here in their cell. It’s the unknown of worrying if they’re okay that’s driving me crazy. I wish they wouldn’t have released us from lockdown. I wouldn’t know Leo and Shaw are here, but if the day had gone differently, maybe Valor wouldn’t have blacked out.

And on top of all of that, my system seems to think everything could be cured by being trapped in the middle of a hug, with Leo on one side and Shaw on the other.

A big part of me is in disbelief that they were willing to get themselves locked in this awful facility in order to save me. There are no words to explain how much I appreciate it, but it also doesn’t erase three years’ worth of hurt feelings.

I’m still confused how we’re supposed to get out of the facility without bonding, but I know them well enough to understand they have a plan. It’s just a matter of when they’re ready to share what that plan is.

Bonding would probably be a lot safer than breaking out.

The pathetic part of me that was half in love with them when I was seventeen lights up at the thought. It’s so out of left field that I almost laugh. They wouldn’t have let themselves be trapped in here without a plan. It’s likely they were able to buy the assistance of the guy who works here. That, or they have another team waiting to break us out.

Whatever their plan is, I’m down for it.

I just need to make sure they can’t leave Omen and Valor behind. I have no trouble imagining Leo and Shaw dragging me out of here kicking and screaming if their plan comes together while Omen and Valor are still locked away in solitary.

My head shakes like I can physically force away those terrible thoughts.

No.

There’s no way.

I would never forgive them.

The thought sends me back into the spiral of worrying about Omen and Valor, and no matter how hard I try to self-regulate my emotions, none of it helps. Leo was able to momentarily put my panic attack on hold earlier, but it’s back with a vengeance, and the impending sense of doom makes me feel like I’m going to die.

* * *

“I’m going for a walk,” Leo growls, clearly speaking to Shaw. “I can’t handle much more of the crying, or I’m going to climb out of my fucking skin.”

“Yeah,” Shaw agrees. “Maybe check the cafeteria to see when we can expect dinner.”

I frown, wiping my aching eyes.

Both of them have tried to come into the loft to offer me comfort, but it feelswrong.

No matter what Omen said, this is Valor’s personal space, and it doesn’t feel right to let other alphas into it while he’s God knows where…probably suffering.

Guilt bubbles in my stomach because I don’t want to torture Leo or Shaw, but I’m sad and scared. It makes me feel even worse that I can’t seem to calm down, no matter how hard I focus.

Maybe I’m having the emotional breakdown that I put off when I woke up in this place? Everything feels so unsettled, and the more I try to talk myself out of panicking, the more the tears fall.

“I’m going for a walk, pretty girl,” Leo says from across the room. “But I will be back. You’ll be safe here with Shaw.”

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