Page 28 of Finders Keepers

The knot in my chest loosens a bit at her words. She understands, maybe not everything, but enough.

As we pull up to the house, I look back at Sophie, peaceful in her car seat. She deserves a chance at a normal life, at making friends, at maybe even having a pet someday. And maybe… maybe I deserve a chance too. Not at romance. I’m not ready for that, might never be ready for that but at learning to trust again, even just a little.

“Thank you for tonight,” I tell Ms. Lucy as she parks the car. “For everything.”

She reaches over to pat my hand and I feel my body stiffen slightly. “Anytime, dear. Now, let’s get this sleeping beauty to bed.”

I climb out and carefully lift Sophie from her car seat, her weight familiar and comforting in my arms. As I walk toward our tiny house, the stars twinkling overhead, I find myself thinking about tomorrow. The thought of going to the clinic still makes my palms sweat.

One step at a time, I remind myself. Just one small step at a time.

Sophie snuggles closer in her sleep, and I press a kiss to her forehead. Whatever happens, whatever choices I make, they’ll always be for her. But maybe, they can be for me too.

Itap my pen against my planner, trying to organize my thoughts along with my week. The morning sun streams through the kitchen window onto our small dining table.

“Mama, is it time yet?” Sophie asks for the hundredth time; her excitement has been a constant backdrop to my planning session.

“Soon, honey. We still have…” I check my watch, “about an hour before Ms. Lucy is going to pick us up.”

I’ve already mapped out the route to Pine Grove Veterinary Care three times, but I keep double-checking it anyway. Even though it’s only fifteen minutes away, according to Google Maps, I still can’t help but feel the anxiousness creeping in.

Across from me at the table, I notice Sophie’s taken to drawing what looks like a handful of animals, most likely inspired by our little field trip today. Her crayon moves in determined strokes across the paper.

A shadow crosses my mind as thoughts of Matt creep in uninvited. The weight of everything I haven’t dealt with sits heavy on my shoulders. Divorce. Custody. The thought of the word ‘kidnapping’ makes my hand tremble slightly as I write “Contact Lawyer” in the side notes of my planner. I need to know where I stand legally. Oklahoma’s laws will be different than in Texas, and I can’t risk—

“Mama?” Sophie’s voice pulls me from my spiraling thoughts. “Can you braid my hair pretty like yesterday?”

“Of course, baby.” I’m grateful for the distraction as I get up from my seat and gather her soft blonde waves into my hands. Her hair is just like mine, and I focus on the familiar motions of braiding, trying to ground myself in the present moment.

“Mama?” She asks again, more hesitant this time. “How come we left Daddy?”

My hands freeze mid-braid. My heart pounds as I scramble for the right words. How do you explain to a four-year-old that her father’s anger and drinking habits made the house feel like it was filled with landmines? That sometimes love isn’t enough when it comes tangled with fear.

“Well,” I begin carefully, resuming the braid, “sometimes grown-ups realize they can’t live together anymore, even if they both love their little girl very much.” The words taste like ash in my mouth, but I force them out anyway.

“But how come?” She questions, as she tilts her head.

My phone pings, but her question demands my full attention. “Sometimes, baby, grown-up problems are more complicated. But what’s important is that you know how much you’re loved, and that none of this is your fault.”

“Is that why we live with Ms. Lucy now?”

“Yes, Ms. Lucy is helping us start a new chapter in our adventure story.” I tie off her braid and kiss the top of her head. “And we’re going to make it a happy one.”

She seems to accept this, turning back to her drawing.

I settle back into my chair, picking up my phone to check the notification. A text from a number I don’t recognize stares back at me:

“HELLO.”

My stomach tightens. I don’t recognize this number. Only three people have this number. Emma, Lisa and Ms. Lucy. And they’re all saved in my contacts.

I stare at the screen, the single word somehow feeling like a threat. Could Matt have found this number somehow? My pulse quickens as I stare at the message, then lock my phone without replying.

I put my phone down and glance at Sophie’s artwork. She grabs a different color crayon and starts to add more details to her paper.

“What are you drawing there, sweetheart?” I ask to try and calm myself down.

Her face lights up, and she lifts her paper to show me. “It’s a puppy and a kitty and…” She points to various colorful shapes on the page. “This is a horse, and this is a bird with a hurt wing.”

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