Page 58 of Finders Keepers

Gavin’s invitation replays in my head. Another outing. Another date. The idea both thrills and terrifies me.

My eyes dart to Sophie, still riding Buttercup with Jake’s steady guidance. Her little face is glowing with joy, a smile I’ve missed seeing. She deserves this happiness, these childhood experiences.

“Wreck-It Ralph,” I murmur absently.

“That’s the one!” She snaps her fingers together. “Sophie’s been telling me all about it.”

My stomach twists. I’ve already left Sophie with Ms. Lucy twice this week. What kind of mother keeps pawning off her child?

“I don’t know…” I say, my fingers finding the fence rail again.

Gavin shifts beside me, giving me space. I appreciate that he doesn’t push, doesn’t make me feel cornered.

I watch Sophie again, her little face beaming with joy as Buttercup plods along. When was the last time I’d seen her this happy? When was the last time I’d allowed myself to feel anything beyond fear and anxiety?

“Okay.” I say, straightening my shoulders.

Ms. Lucy’s eyes light up. “Wonderful! Sophie and I will have ourselves a grand old time.”

I turn to Gavin, whose expression shifts from patiently waiting to pleasant surprise. “And yes, to you too. Another outing sounds… nice.”

The word feels strange on my tongue. Nice. Such a simple thing that’s been absent from my life for so long.

“Great,” he says, his smile reaching his eyes. “I’ll pick you up.”

“What time?” I say, my flutters into my chest.

“Wanna say… six?”

I nod, then look back at Sophie. She deserves to see me living, not just surviving. She deserves a mom who can show her what happiness looks like.

“Mommy! Did you see me?” She calls out as Jake leads Buttercup closer to the fence.

Jake helps Sophie slide off Buttercup, his weathered hands steady as he guides her to the ground. The moment her little boots touch dirt, she starts toward me, her helmet bobbing slightly.

I crouch down and open my arms wide, catching her as she barrels into me. The solid weight of her small body against mine always centers me in a way nothing else can.

“I sure did see you, baby girl! You were amazing up there.” I squeeze her tight.

She pulls back, her eyes bright with excitement. “After we brush Buttercup can I give her apple treats?”

“I don’t see why not,” I say, standing up and brushing some dust from her jeans.

I turn to Ms. Lucy and Gavin who are watching us with matching smiles.

“Would it be okay to give her a treat?”

“Of course,” Ms. Lucy says, adjusting her straw hat. “That’s exactly what good riders do; they take care of their horses first.”

Gavin nods in agreement. “Nothing better than teaching responsibility early. I’ll make sure there are some treats in the barn you can give her.”

“Can I brush her too, Mommy? Mr. Jake showed me how,” she says, eyes determined.

“Yes, but first let’s get this helmet off you.” I say as I unclasp the straps.

Unbuckling her helmet, I catch Gavin watching us, his expression warm. My heart picks up speed again, but not from my anxiety for once, but something lighter. Something I haven’t felt in a very long time.

“Come on, Soph,” I say, taking her hand. “Let’s go thank Buttercup for the ride.”

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