Page 36 of Omega Rock

So, no after-parties that night. No staying together. It’s been two days since, and while we’ve connected in the group chat, it’s really not been enough contact. Thankfully, Mia is correcting that today with an order we all head south to the coast for a day at the beach.

We pile into Noah’s car and pick up Mia on the way. She’s waiting outside her apartment building with a bag slung over one shoulder and a cooler in her other hand. She’s wearing black shorts, a black tank-top, and I can just see bikini straps peeking out beneath the tank-top. It’s not entirely summer weather yet, but the sun is shining hot today. Mia’s call was a good one.

We drive south with the windows down and music playing, making it hard to really talk that much, but by the time we’ve hit the beach and set up our little spot for ourselves, the conversation flows freely.

“I’m telling you,” Mia exclaims as she opens her cooler and pulls out a non-alcoholic can of seltzer. “The beach is best for inspiration. How can you listen to waves and not be inspired?” She offers the can to me.

“Hey, I agree with you. And thank you,” I say, taking the drink.

Aiden and Noah pull out beers from a cooler they brought. “Well, then write us a song about the ocean,” Noah offers.

Mia digs out a notebook and pen before stretching out on her belly on her towel. “I will!” She was smart and applied sunscreen before leaving the car. Some sand sticks to her skin as the wind picks up.

I put my seltzer in the drink holder of my camping chair and reach for my own backpack. “See, this is what it’s all about. Writing songs on the beach in the sun.” I grab my own sunscreen and start slathering it on. If it gets too hot, I’ll grab the white button-down stuffed into the bottom of the bag.

Aiden nods my way. “You’ll be all right?”

I wave him off as the scent of sunscreen nearly dulls Mia’s only lovely strawberry candy and honey scent. “Yeah, we’re two months out. Less worried.”

Noah raises an eyebrow in my direction. “If it gets too hot, I’m out, too. Not built for this.”

Mia throws a little sand his way and giggles. “You’ll be okay. A little sun never hurt anyone.”

I toss the sunscreen back into my backpack and open my seltzer. The cool bubbles fizz down my throat as I focus my gaze on the dark blue ocean not far away. It does offer its own sense of peace, doesn’t it? Despite how fucking deep and terrifying oceans can be. I guess I can ignore that part for now and enjoy this as Mia wants us to.

Mia puts down her pen and looks up at me. “I was going to ask… I mean, you don’t have to say anything, of course. We don’t have to talk about it at all. But you and crowds…?”

Aiden meets my eyes but I shake my head. Might as well tell Mia and Noah now.

“How can you be a rock star and be afraid of crowds?” I ask her.

She nods. “Like, it’s totally okay. I was freaking out myself when we walked out on stage at Sound House. That’s the largest venue I’ve played.”

“True that,” Noah adds in before drinking his beer. He’s kicked back in his camping chair with sunglasses on.

I raise my seltzer to Noah and then sip from it. “It’s not a fear of crowds. I’m severely immunocompromised. Best to avoid them if possible, although that does make being in a performing band hard.”

Mia’s mouth opens but no words come out for a few moments. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” But I can see her mentally crossing back over the days we’ve known each other and connecting dots. Like Aiden picking a table near the open door at Al’s, and me entering in through a back entrance at Sound House.

“No, it’s okay.” I wave off her concern, not because I don’t want it, but because it’s been years now of this. “Most of the time it’s okay. I mean, obviously I have to be more careful than the average person. But I had an infusion two months ago, and that cuts my immune system in half. So, being careful for the moment.”

Noah’s eyebrows raise over the tops of his sunglasses. “Is this why you left Lost Time?”

I chuckle dryly.LeavingLost Time andbeing kicked out or let goare very different versions of the story. “It was a mixed decision with a lot of layers. I wanted to come back once I recovered, but the doctors were against it, and so was the band. They were worried for my health.”

As they should have been. Neuropathy almost robbed me of use of both of my arms. I could barely move my fingers for six months, couldn’t raise my arms high enough to even slip on a t-shirt on my own. I consider it a miracle I can even play drums again, let alone as well as before.

And yeah, maybe that’s because without the commitment to Lost Time, I was allowed the space to fully recover and do everything I was told to do. But that didn’t make it suck any less. I was twenty-five at the time. Getting so close to the top of the rock band world and then having it absolutely swept away within days as I swiftly loss feeling and motion in both arms was devastating.

Lost Time wasn’t just a band name anymore. It was my reality.

No one’s said anything. I drink my seltzer again and then flash them all a smile. “Seriously, I’m fine now. That was the worst of it, and losing that band gained me this one. Vasculitis is nasty and it hits fast and often without warning. But it’s under control. Just going to avoid indoor parties, and if any of you get sick, I might stay away. Nothing personal.” I laugh again to show it’s okay.

They don’t really laugh back. Aiden least of all.

“Lost Time treated you like shit,” Aiden says. “I remember those days, Leo. We’re not going to do that to you. If you ever need time foranything, you’ve got it here without worries.”

“Thank you. For real.” I lift my drink to him. “And now that that’s out there, I’d love to no longer be the center of attention.” It’s why I preferred being the drummer of the band. I can sit behind them all and just enjoy the music and the crowd’s energy and not feel like every single set of eyes out there is on me.

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