Page 75 of Omega Rock

I finally return the messages from my parents and brother. At first they were panicked, but I’ve never been good at replying, so I think eventually they just assumed I was okay. I take the longest responding to these, to assure them I’m doing okay and that I’m on tour with a new band. That I’ll probably be home soon and can visit then.

I delete a lot of the messages from various friends and acquaintances in other bands. And remove all the tabloid journalists reaching out. Honestly, so much of my email inbox doesn’t matter I consider just deleting it all.

It’s around sunrise when a surprising text comes in. A new one from Darius.

Hey, I know you don’t want to hear from me right now. But we saw Leo get taken away by ambulance. The news of that is kind of everywhere. He’s a good man. Just wanted to say I hope he’s okay, and I’m sorry for all the bullshit.

My jaw locks as I read his message. Darius never apologizes. I’ve heard maybe three in our whole lives despite the many he owes a lot of people. Whereas I owe him no reply at all. But his concern for Leo tugs at a string I can’t help but feel unraveling.

Leo is okay. We’re probably off the tour after today, so no worries there. I’m sorry too.

The tour bus door opens and Leo shuffles slowly down the steps. I immediately shove my phone into my pocket and move to help him but he waves me off.

“I’m fine.” He continues is slow movement over to one of the other lawn chairs still set up outside from the other day. “You’re up early.”

“So you are you.” I can’t help but look him over for signs of discomfort. More than a long-time friend, I’m terrified for a member of my pack being in such pain. “How are you feeling?”

Leo plunks down very not gracefully at all into the chair then pulls out his own phone. “Alive, but the steroids are working, so I guess I shouldn’t complain.”

I frown. “It’s okay to not be okay, Leo.”

He chuckles dryly and looks up at the sunrise. “That’s good because I won’t be okay again for a while.” He makes a show of opening and closing his free hand. His movements are slow and cautious. “I don’t think the neuropathy will be nearly as bad as last time, but it’s not great. I won’t be able to perform for… a while.” He sighs heavily.

I lean over and tap a fist against his leg. “Hey, it’s okay. Your health matters so much more than all of this.”

“Except to me sometimes.” Then he leans back and roughly runs his hand through his hair. “I guess that’s what got me here, though, so.”

“It’s okay.”

“Is it?” Leo shoots me a worried glance. “Let’s not kid ourselves. Exit Fate was our second and maybe only other shot at this.” I level him with a look, but he carries on. “I just mean that I know this meant a lot to you. I’m sorry this collapsed as it has.”

A few weeks ago I might have been angrier about it, I won’t lie about that. And a good deal of the reason I blew up on Mia for something she didn’t even start with Jordan is very much rooted in the things Leo is bringing up now.

But everything is different now.

“The pack matters most to me in this moment,” I say barely louder than a whisper. As if putting it into actual words and letting it out into the universe might make it more fragile. “Our pack matters most. So if that’s what survives all of this—” I gesture widely around us to the lot of tour buses filled with sleeping artists “—I’m good with that.”

“Me too.” Leo hands me his phone, unlocked to a notes app filled with words. “I know I’m just the drummer, but I wrote something I was hoping you and Mia could turn into… somethingbetter.”

“Better hand that here, then. Aiden’s lyrics could use some work.”

I turn to find Mia and Noah coming down the tour bus stairs. She’s grinning, her words thick with sarcasm, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Compared to you? Definitely,” I say.

Mia stands next to me to read Leo’s lyrics over my shoulder as Noah claps Leo on the back before claiming his own chair.

We read Leo’s lyrics and honestly, they’re fantastic. It’s a song about fear and losing time and wanting to both embrace and run from the unknown. Certainly something we all can relate to.

Mia smiles up at him. “Leo, I had no idea you could write too.”

Leo waves her off with a bashful grin. “No, not really. I just felt inspired.”

“Well, you inspired is fantastic,” I say. “We can definitely write a full song to this for the album.”

Noah shifts uncomfortably. “Will there stillbean album?

A silence falls between us, one that I’m aware is ending up directed at me. Our band doesn’t have a lead, not really. And a pack full of alphas doesn’t necessarily either. But I’m happy to take lead on this I suppose.

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