Page 91 of Wild About You

‘Thanks for your faith in me,’ he said dryly.

‘You’re only human, I’m told,’ I said.

So we drove and slept, drove and slept. After a few hours we agreed we needed to stretch our legs, so shared a sleepy coffee break in the neon bright café of a service station at midnight. We were quiet. Companionable, but quiet. I could sense the unsaid words building up between us. And there was a feeling growing in my chest. Heavy weather. An urgency.

Tobias’s Lucinda complaints had stopped once I’d told him about Fi. I gave him regular updates about her condition,and received sober ‘Thank you x’ texts in response. I knew he didn’t want to burden me but I also itched to ask what the situation was.

And I knew, at any moment, I could tell Jamie his fiancée had betrayed him.

‘Is Lucinda expecting you?’ I said, sipping from my paper cup of coffee, which was so weak it looked as though the water had just been shown the coffee granules before they’d mutually agreed to part.

He blinked, as though the question surprised him. ‘I think so. I called and she wasn’t there, so I left a message with Tally to tell her I’d be back and for her not to wait up but go home. I just want to get back and go to bed.’

I nodded. A cleaner pushed a mop around the beige tiled floor, bobbing his head to the music coming from his headphones. I felt as though I would burst. This went beyond Lucinda; beyond Sean.

‘I want to stay,’ I blurted out. Jamie’s eyes darted to my face, but in an instant he looked away again.

‘You’re just tired,’ he said. ‘It’s been an emotional day.’

‘Don’t you want me to stay?’

His eyes kindled and fixed on my face.There you are, I thought.

‘You know the answer to that question,’ he said grittily.

‘So why the reticence? Am I to understand you won’t let me withdraw my resignation?’God, I was being bold. Did this coffee have Cognac in it?

‘I don’t know.’ He put the lid back on his cup.

I drew in a juddering breath. Saw Stonemore being erased from my life. My raw, middle-of-the-night feelings threatened to tip me into another crying fit.

‘Fair enough,’ I said, looking down. ‘I can still visit, I guess. Excuse me. I just need to pop to the loo.’

In the deserted bathroom I locked myself in a cubicle and allowed myself a brief sob. Crying at midnight in a service station loo. Wasn’t there a country music song with that title?

I came out of the cubicle, ran cold water and washed away what was left of my make-up. The water made my eyes marginally less puffy. I put some lip balm on, sprayed some perfume from a tiny vial I found in my bag. Not bad. I mean, I looked as though I’d been on an all-night bender, but I was making an effort.

Jamie was waiting outside the toilets, sadly inspecting a coin-operated ride-on train for children as though he was considering having a go.

‘I’m fine,’ I said to him. ‘Consider that conversation not had.’

He passed a hand over his eyes. ‘There’s a lot I could say,’ he said. ‘But it wouldn’t be fair on anyone.’

I nodded, and waved my hand as though to indicateblah blah blah. ‘Let’s hit the road.’

CHAPTER 27

I knew I was home when I heard Jamie saying my name. I woke, bleary-eyed, in the back seat of the car, my neck cricked, my lap covered with a grey fleece blanket.

‘I thought I was supposed to drive the home stretch,’ I said, rubbing my eyes.

‘You were fast asleep. I didn’t want to wake you,’ he said.

We were parked up outside my cottage. I opened the car door as Jamie got out and started unloading my case. The sky was a dense blue–black, the stars bright and clear. The trees were still and the Gothic details of the cottage were bathed in pale moonlight.

I landed on my feet with a squelch.Still muddy, then. I clomped up the pathway and unlocked the door, Jamie following quietly behind. He put my case down on the hearth carpet, looked around as I turned the lights on.

We stared at each other.

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