Page 31 of This Loving Feeling (Mirror Lake)

CHAPTER 8

If not cigarettes, then coffee. That was Lukas’s motto for the day. He’d just downed his third cup and was sitting on the patio talking to his agent, Tony. Stevie and Mrs.Panagakos had gone for a walk down the road to the lakeside park.

“... a sold out venue in L.A.next month ... the last album’s just gone platinum ...Rolling Stonewants an interview andGQ’s offering a photo op for the cover and a feature article.”Blah, blah, blah. Lukas drowned out the business talk. Bored, he watched the fine tremor in his hands with a strange sense of awe. He’d never been much for tripping out on too much caffeine and now he knew why. He punchednicotine patchinto the reminder notes on his phone. Right next tomore milkandLucky Charms, which Stevie had just informed him was his favorite cereal. Turns out there was a way to get him to drink milk after all.

“This is a lot of attention for an up-and-coming artist, so we’ve got to take advantage of every opportunity ...” Tony was still rambling on. Lukas didn’t mind working hard. In fact, helovedworking hard. He loved writing songs and appreciated that he was lucky enough to be able to perform them. He just hated that he was a brand, a commodity that everyone seemed to want a piece of. At the risk of having no pieces left for himself, no privacy, and no life.

A boat approached the dock, a shiny twenty-five-foot white-and-blue speedboat with blue stripes and a cabin. The guy behind the wheel tossed two ropes to the dock, then jumped out and tied them to the dock cleats.

Lukas didn’t have to guess who the guy was. Harris looked eerily the same as when they’d met six years ago—the same thick head of wavy light brown hair, the same hawkish nose. He pushed his aviators high on his head and put his tanned hands on his hips, his pristine white shorts and white polo reflecting in the sunshine. “Samantha!” he called from the dock, looking around. “Sam! I’m here!”

Sam walked out of the main house’s front door, carrying a picnic basket and a towel, wearing a bright pink swim cover-up and flip-flops, clearly ready for a day on the water. She jogged down to the dock and flung her arms around him in that one-hundred-and-one-percent way of hers, making Lukas’s gut twist a little. He shouldn’t watch, but he simply couldn’t turn away. Harris kissed her but then backed himself up to arm’s length, smoothing his mussed hair carefully back into place.

A strange feeling churned in the pit of Lukas’s stomach. Acidy distaste, mixed with dislike and a big stab of jealousy. He addedTumsto his grocery list.

This thing with Sam was all his own fault. She’d turned into an obsession because he’d picked the wrong damn time to develop a conscience. Or to be stupid. He’d let thoughts of being a nobody consume him. He’d been desperate not to end up like his parents.

That nauseous feeling was back that told him he’d screwed up, bad. The thought of Harris with her ... he couldn’t even go there, because every cell in his body believed back then that Harris was a complete idiot and she could do a lot better. Maybe Harris had changed, but people usually didn’t.

Ironic. That Lukas had stepped away because he thought he wasn’t good enough. Only to havehimget her. It was wrong. Bone-marrow-deep wrong.

Lukas squeezed his eyes shut. Dammit to hell anyway, he should’ve handled things so much differently. All these years of messed-up feelings, ones that had poured over into his very best songs. This inability to move on would never have happened if he hadn’t pushed her away.Thatwas why she’d stuck to the corners in his brain like spiderwebs that wouldn’t wipe away for all these years.

Oh, Samantha.

She’d dated Harris for the past six years. Why hadn’t she married him?

Thank God shehadn’t.

Wait. There’d been no vows, no church ceremony, no noisy Rushford family celebration with all the big, burly brothers rallying around their little sis, all the town old ladies and the cousins and ...

She wasn’t married.

Not that Lukas thought he still had a chance with her.

Did he?

Out in the water, Harris pulled the front rope onto the boat and took the wheel, Sam settling in behind him, stretching out her lovely legs on one of the side seats. Harris kicked the boat into reverse and moved away from the dock.

Except theputt-puttof the motor suddenly sputtered out. From the patio, Lukas saw Harris’s startled expression as his steering became ineffective and the boat began to drift. Sam walked to the back of the boat and pointed, and Harris got up and followed her.

A normal guy would have realized he’d forgotten to pull the rear rope in, which had gotten wrapped around the propeller and seized up the engine. A normal guy would’ve also jumped overboard and pulled the hell out of the front rope to get the boat back to the dock. Guess Harris didn’t want to risk ruining that bright white outfit.

Lukas found himself running down the grassy yard to the dock before he could think his decision through. The opportunity to watch Harris flounder a bit more was too good to pass up. And, oh yeah, he was not going to miss a chance to save the day. Show Sam his special skills. For a guy who’d spent years making engines work, a seized propeller was not a big deal.

As Lukas approached the dock, Harris said, “Gosh darn it, Sam, get out of my way. I can get it.” He didn’t push her, but his tone was prickly and condescending enough, making the hair on the back of Lukas’s neck stand up. Once an idiot, always an idiot.

“Hey, there, Harris,” Lukas called from the dock. “Why don’t you pass me that rope and we’ll see if we can’t pull you back to the dock?”

“The prop seized. Pulling me back in isn’t going to help that.”

Lukas suppressed an eye roll. “Um, you’re right, but it will help me to be able to help you.” Lukas grinned at Sam, who tossed the rope to him. It landed with a soft splash about six feet from the dock. Lukas jumped into the water from the dock with his pajama pants on and grabbed the rope.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” Harris said as Lukas used the rope to haul the boat back to the dock. Then he pulled himself up and out of the water and tied the boat back to the dock cleats.

“I just wasn’t thinking,” Harris said, a bit flustered. “Sam was chattering on about the weather or something and I was a little distracted.”

What did she see in this guy, a guy who treated her like an abused employee instead of a girlfriend? Sam’s face had turned red. She bent her head low to examine the problem with the engine, but Lukas could sense her embarrassment.

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