Page 38 of Take Me Home for Christmas

“What are you doing?” He sounded more incredulous than angry. His dark brows were knit down, his arms crossed, tall and stark as a winter warrior in a fantasy novel. But this time I wasn’t going to let him distract me from the truth.

“Take off your clothes,” I said. “Yourouterclothes,” I amended as I tossed a boot to the ground, then shed a sock. When I was down to my thermal shirt and pants, I hopped quickly over to my parents’ hot tub and lifted the lid.

Wonderful, balmy, chlorine-scented steam cut the icy air with smoky tendrils. I took one glance back and then hopped in. He was right behind me as I sank into the hot water, feeling the burn, grateful for the insta-thaw.

I looked up at him, hesitating on the brink.

He wanted answers, but so did I. “Why did you kiss me?”

Brax

I faced Mia. Tendrils of steam rose up between us into the frigid night. Moments ago, we’d been horizontal and lip-locked. Those kisses were among the best I’d ever gotten…and the worst. I’d managed to stuff all my feelings in a box for the past six months, and the lid had just been blown right off. By me. I’d done it. I’d gotten swept up, unable to stay away—again.

Despite everything, I wanted to take her back in my arms and tell her I’d meant every kiss. I wanted to give her a thousand more. I had the sinking sense that everything I was feeling wasn’t just attraction but something far more complicated, a journey I had no map for.

This was why I never should have come. I had no control when it came to her.

I had to say something, so I steeled myself. “We were close, we were touching. And I’ve had a couple of shots. It was an honest mistake.” Lies. I was as sober as Job. I’d known what I was doing, and I’d done it anyway. I’d wanted her too badly to stop myself. I tried to shove all the emotion back inside as I forced myself to look in her eyes. “Rest assured, it won’t happen again.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. Good thing, because through her gray thermal underwear, I could see the soft outline of her breasts. I wrenched my gaze back up to her face. “So you’re telling me that was all an accident,” she said. “Nothing more to it.”

“Correct.”

She blew out a big breath. “Now that we’re being honest, I wasn’t going to tell you about Charlie, ever.”

All the cool I’d been trying to command dissolved. “You weren’t going to tell me anything about a guy you dated for, what…six years?” I didn’t have a right to be angry, but I found that I was.

She stabbed the air. “You’re acting like wetelleach other things.”

“I thought we were friends.” I sat on an underwater ledge and folded my own arms. “Friends tell each other important things.”

She snorted. “Don’t look like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re hurt that I don’t tell you big things about my life. We started out being friends. And beingmorethan friends, remember that? When you broke things off, you lost the privilege of hearing my stuff.” Her gaze blazed with defiance.

I blinked, chastened and surprised.

“Stop messing with my emotions.”

If only I could tell her that I’d kept her at arm’s length for her own good. Somehow, I had to find the strength to stay away, but how? “I deserve everything you’re saying. But now I’m asking as your friend. Someone who cares about you a lot.” I felt desperate, needing her to know that I meant every word. “Please tell me.”

We sat there, glaring at each other. Above our heads, snow began to fall, thick, giant flakes hurling silently down and melting once they crashed into the hot water. It felt like we were in a giant snow globe, duking it out.

“Fine.” She sighed. “Charlie and I dated for six years. When I left for residency, the distance wore us down. I was working all the time and on call, and it was difficult to see each other, but I always thought we’d get through it. At our engagement party, he took me aside and told me there was someone else.” She shrugged and met my gaze. “That’s it. That’s the story.”

She ran a hand lightly over the effervescent water and focused her gaze on it, not me, as she continued, “Anyway, I’m here for my mom, not for Charlie. People can talk all they want. And I don’t need to give him my blessing in person. Whyshould I?Hecheated onme.I hope he has a good life. Isn’t that enough?”

“I’m sorry.” I felt helpless. I didn’t know what else to say or do. My desire to do anything to comfort her battled with my need to hold my distance, and I was a mess.

She stiffened, clearly not needing my paltry words of comfort. “It’s not your problem, so no reason to be.”

“Mia.” My voice cracked when I said her name. I had to say something, anything, to let her know that I cared, even if I couldn’t be more than a friend to her. “You deserve to have fire and passion and…and everything. Every last piece of someone’s heart and soul.”

Her mouth dropped open. She stared at me, thrown and speechless.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” I continued, my voice cracking with emotion. “I’m glad you didn’t end up with him.”

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